When I least expected you
by JL00710
Summary: After a Tragic accident claims the life of her boyfriend Hailey falls into addiction to cope with the guilt. Her brother HHH brings her to the WWE as a way to keep an eye on her. While working there she meets Seth Rollins who changes her aspect of life. Seth Rollins/ OC
1. Chapter 1

**This story is pure fiction.**

**I do not own any of the characters in it. **

**If you enjoy it or have anything to add go ahead and leave a comment! :)**

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><p>It was my first day of work. I made one mistake in life and my older brother decided that I needed to come work for his father in law's company to teach me responsibility or something like that. I have never worked a day in my life, unless you count college internships but even those could hardly be considered jobs.<p>

I rushed across the parking lot into the arena. I knew I was late and Paul aka Triple H was not going to be happy. I had tried my best putting together an outfit that I thought my brother couldn't protest to, even though he probably would anyway. Throwing on my favorite pair of Christian Louboutin heels I headed out the door, but took a wrong turn had a hard time finding the right entrance to the arena.

I made it into the arena and looked around. I was not looking forward to this form of punishment. I hated wrestling. Being much younger than my older brother he started wrestling not long after my birth so it has always been a part of my life.

I walked past the stack of production trunks, overstepping power cables everywhere to look for my brother.

When I finally spotted him he was talking to another suited up guy. I approached with care hoping he wouldn't notice my tardiness.

"I'm here" I announced still looking around hoping I hadn't sounded too uninterested

"Well, first give me a hug…I haven't seen you in months." Paul said wrapping his arms around me.

I hugged back standing on my tiptoes. My brother was a monster next to me. I always thought I was adopted looking at him.

"Second, you are late" Paul said while looking at his watch.

I knew that an excuse would only prolong the moment.

"Yeah, sorry" I said looking through my purse trying to avoid much eye contact.

"Third, you need to add a few inches to that skirt." He said looking at her

"Are you kidding me right now? " I said

"I just don't want you to attract the wrong attention around here" Paul said fixing his cufflinks

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. This was going to be even more annoying than I had imagined.

"Hailey, I know you are not excited about working for the WWE but I am certain this will be good for you." Paul said with a hint of concern in his voice.

Paul had always been more of a father to me than a brother. He was already 17 by the time I was born and he moved out of the house a year later so there was not much sibling interaction growing up.

"I know." I said putting in every ounce of energy into a half assed smile.

"I am going to have you help around with whatever is needed right now. And then as you get comfortable we can discuss if there is anything specific you would like to work on. How does that sound?" Paul asked

"Sounds amazing." I said oozing sarcasm and looked through my phone.

"You need to put that away. You have to act like a regular employee and not the bosses' sister. Ok?" he asked

I glared at him and threw my phone back into my bag.

"Got it, Boss. Now where do I need to go?" I asked showing more attitude than Paul would probably like.

A man walking up to him distracted Paul. I had never met this guy before. He looked to be around my age. I watched him as he talked to my brother about wrestling stuff I couldn't care less about.

He looked at me and his look lingered a little too long for my brothers liking.

Paul turned to look at me

"Seth this is my baby sister Hailey…she will be working around here for a while" Paul said. I hated it when he called me his baby sister; I knew he was trying to put up boundaries.

I smiled at this Seth guy. I was taken back by how attractive he was. Extremely sexy for sure.

"Hi Hailey, nice to meet you" he smiled putting a hand out for me to shake

"Nice to meet you too, Seth" I shook his hand and felt an unfamiliar tingle when our skin touched.

We both held the handshake a little too long and it didn't go unnoticed by my Pitbull brother.

"Yeah, so I will talk to you later about the plan" Paul said to Seth trying to rush him away. Giving Hailey a glare in the processs.

"Ok, Sounds good. I will see you around" Seth said looking at Hailey again

I watched him walk away enjoying the view from the backside as much as the front.

"Hailey. Focus. Seriously, NO messing around with anyone. You need to focus on getting better" Paul said with a mix of anger and concern in his voice.

"I know, Paul. I know. I don't want you to be reminding me every change you get. I know what got me here" I said taking the piece of paper that had the list of jobs he wanted to me to do.

It was starting to feel like the only thing that people would ever remember about me was my alcoholism. I had been sober for months now and not that I was expecting a pat on the back but I wanted him to at least stop throwing it in my face all the time.

"GOOD. Ok well get to work. I don't want to hear any complaints about you. Come get me if you have any problems." Paul said while walking away

I let out a long sigh and looked around at my new place of employment. I was going to be on the road with a bunch of people I didn't know and to make matters worse usually being the bosses sister didn't make you very approachable.

I walked away and got started on the dumb entry-level jobs that my wonderful brother had set out for me.


	2. Chapter 2

I had been at the WWE for a couple of weeks now. Still no one would really talk to me aside from a friendly greeting. The road was becoming a very lonely place.

I was sitting by myself in catering staring at my phone. I was sure the few friends I had left back home were already sick of my never-ending texts in order to pass the time.

There was a table near by where the Diva's were sitting but I hardly even got the friendly greeting from them. I could feel them looking over every so often then go back to their huddle. I couldn't help but wonder what how much they actually knew.

I looked up when a shadow approached. It was that hot Seth guy from the first day I was there. I had sadly been stuck helping the writing team so I hadn't really hadn't seen him around like he said.

Seth was looking at me with those sexy dark eyes of his.

"Do you need the entire table for yourself or can I Sit? No room any where else" He asked with a smile

"You can sit." I said motioning to a chair next to me.

He took a seat with his food and started eating away.

I looked back at my phone.

"So you having fun so far?" he asked between bites

I looked up at him and put my phone down for a minute

"Not really. No" I said for some reason I felt like I could be honest with him without worrying about my brother hearing back.

He looked at me.

"It can be lonely without friends" he said referring so my sitting alone during lunch.

I knew I must have looked incredibly pathetic sitting there all alone on my phone.

I heard the girls at the next table laughing and I looked up at them.

"Don't mind them. They aren't the friendliest to new girls. Especially one more beautiful than them" he said still eating

I felt my face get warm and knew I was blushing. I started to fidget with my phone.

He looked up at me and smiled. I was pretty sure that smile could cure cancer.

"I try not to mind them." I said looking at my phone

I could feel his eyes still watching me. I looked up at him and caught him still looking.

I smiled at him and this time it was his turn to blush.

"So don't you have friends? " I asked him

"I actually do. I just saw you sitting here by yourself and thought I'd be a nice guy" he said

I couldn't help but laugh. That was probably the nicest thing anyone had done for me in a long time, as sad as that sounds.

"Well. Thank you. Greatly appreciated it. Feels like high school around here sometimes. Except in High School I was the popular one…guess Karma catches up to everyone" I said

He laughed tilting his head back which made me smile.

My phone vibrated on the table startling me.

It was my brother.

TEXT: "I need you to come to my office"

I let out a sigh upon reading it. I wonder if anyone told him that I was sitting there with Seth.

"I got to go. Boss needs to see me in his office" I said getting up

"Hope you aren't in too much trouble" He said

"Always am." I walked away and headed towards Paul's office. I could still feel his eyes on my as I was walking.

I reached Paul's office and walked in. He was in there with my sister in law – Stephanie.

"Hey guys" I said looking at them

"Hailey! Hi!" said Stephanie greeting me with a hug

I hugged back and looked at them both trying to understand what this little family reunion is about.

"How do you think it's going, Hails?" Paul asked

"It's alright …boring but alright I guess" I said grabbing some candy from his desk

"That's not what I am hearing from the writing department. They are saying you are lazy and not very helpful." Paul said

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? I have tried." I said. Only half believing my story.

Paul looked at me and I could tell he didn't believe my story at all.

"Hailey, you have always been handed everything in a silver platter. You are used to people catering to you but when you come here to this company you need to check your spoiled rich girl attitude at the door and work like everyone else" Paul said staring at me

I looked away not being able to hold eye contact with him.

"We are going to have you move to help with talent. Making sure they check in. If they have any small issues you can help address it" he said knowing she did not want to work with the talent.

"Paul, no. It's a bunch of guys. Some like salivate when they look at me. I can't" I said trying to change his mind but I knew my brother better than that.

"Well then try a longer skirt. Some pants. " He said

"Blame the victim why don't you" I said

"Hailey cut the shit. No one is disrespecting you around here and if they are you let me know and they will be gone. Throwing a little fit isn't going to make me change my mind" Paul said

I looked at Stephanie who was just sitting there looking uncomfortable as well.

I stormed out of the office slamming the door behind me. I walked aimlessly around the halls trying to make sense of what my life had become.

I was texting my friend about what had just happened and wasn't looking where I was going and apparently neither was Seth because we walked right into each other.

I am fairly certain for him it wasn't much of a hit. For me it was like hitting a wall, I started to stumble back.

He reached out and grabbed me by the waist keeping me from falling. I felt his hands on my hips as he held me steady.

"Careful there" he smiled

"Sorry. I wasn't looking" I said holding up my phone

He laughed a little. I realized he was still holding on to me and began blushing again.

"Oh, sorry" he said slowly moving his hands.

I could still feel the warmness of where his strong hands had been.

He looked into my eyes

"You alright?" he asked with genuine concern in his voice

"Yeah, I am. Just not sure what I need to do to please my brother" I said

I don't know why it was easy to be honest when talking to him. I hardly knew him.

I looked around and realized I was still fairly close to Paul's office.

"I should go before he comes out and sees me "slacking off" I walked away and left him standing there.

I found an empty room and finally broke down. I knew I had brought this upon myself but I just felt so lonely. My own brother didn't trust me and I had no friends around me. Staying clean was hard enough and this feeling was not helping me along the way.


	3. Chapter 3

I pulled myself together and headed back out. I went around the arena helping in whatever mundane thing anyone needed me to do. I walked around staring at the white walls of this very fancy prison like place I found myself in.

I knew I should be thankful that I had a brother who cared when everyone else had given up on me but to be totally honest I kind of wished that he would just give up on me too and I wouldn't keep having to feel like I let him down by my simple existence.

I looked at the time and realized that I had yet to deliver the papers I was holding to my brother. He had asked me to pick up a final copy of the show schedule. I picked up my pace and headed to find him. I spotted his giant figure and walked over as I got closer I noticed that he was once again talking to Seth.

Paul spotted me from the corner of his eye.

"You're late." He said looking at me

"I got lost. Couldn't find you" I said lying. It was always just easier to lie.

I looked over at Seth who was looking at me and smiled.

He returned the favor by giving me the warm smile that had become one of the only things I enjoyed about this place.

Paul was looking over the paper I handed to him

"Ok well Rollins, looks like you are opening the show. Just come find me after" Paul ordered

"Sounds good. See you later Hailey." He said walking away

I watched as he walked away almost forgetting that big boss man was standing right next to me.

"Hailey. Hailey. " Paul snapped his fingers in front of my eyes

"ew, you're so rude." I said looking at him

"I don't like the way you look at him." Paul said looking back at the paper

"What are you? The keeper of his purity or something? Don't worry nothing will happen…it will all stay in my head" I said giving him a sly smile. I loved annoying my brother.

Paul put down his paper and stared me down.

"You like to push my buttons. I am dead serious Hailey. You stay away from him and any other man around here or I am done. You said you would take this seriously" he said

I leaned against the wall closing my eyes in a failed attempt to zone him out.

"I don't have to remind you what happened the last time you became dependent on a guy" He said darkly

I opened my eyes and looked at him. How dare he bring him up?. I could feel my breathing getting faster as I was trying my best to not cry at the mention of him.

"Don't." was all I could say looking at Paul trying to fight back tears

"Hails…I don't mean to be mean or cruel by bringing all this up…All I am saying is that Rollins is a good guy. Just let him be. You will thank me later" he said

Oh, great. He was a good guy so clearly way too good for me. Thanks Brother.

"By the way. Steph says she has been reaching out to you and hasn't gotten much of a response. You need to surround yourself with family right now Hailey that is the point of you being here" He looked at me and put his heavy hand on my shoulder

"I will schedule something with her." I said not looking at him

"Ok, just remember you are not alone. " he said kissing the top of my head and walking away

As the show progressed and I was needed less and less I found a quiet spot standing in between two production trunks where I knew my brother or Stephanie couldn't find me. I loved them both, I just hated the look of pity they both had when looking at me.

I was looking through my phone and didn't notice a man walk to up me.

"Hey pretty thing. What are you doing back here all alone?" he asked looking around

I looked up and didn't recognize the man. From the way he was dressed I assumed he was a stage hand.

"Trying to be alone." I said looking back at my phone

"Not the friendly type are you?" he said getting closer

I realized that I was caught in between the production trunks and him.

"You're really pretty" he said running a finger down my cheek

"Please, stop." I said trying to push him off

The man leaned down closer and I could feel his breathing on my neck. I was feeling physically sick.

"I always see you alone. We can be friends…really good friends" he laid a soft kiss on my neck and I realized that I was in big trouble and tears started rolling down my face.

Just then I heard the voices of a couple of men approaching

"Oh, sorry - sorry don't mind us" said one of the men apparently thinking it was some sort of consensual situation.

The man looked to the group of men and I saw my chance to give him one last push off.

I looked at the group of men who were now standing there looking at me. I recognized them as Ambrose, Cesaro, Reigns and then there was Seth who was looking at me with a puzzled look on his face.

"What the fuck is going on? Why is she crying?" I heard Roman ask.

"She's acting. She just doesn't want it to get back to her brother." The man said.

I tried to wipe my tears. I was so embarrassed and disgusted as what had just happened and the thought of what would have happened if they hadn't showed up. I quickly started walking away.

I needed to find my brother. I needed to get out of there.

"Hailey wait!" I heard Seth walking behind me

I tried to speed up but he caught up to me eventually he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

"Are you ok?" He looked at me

I couldn't bring myself to look at him I was so embarrassed.

"I told him to stop. I tried to push him off he wasn't listening" I said tears streaming down my face again

Seth looked at me and wrapped his arms around me for a hug. I hugged back and cried into his chest. He gently rubbed my back with his hands and I started to feel a little better.

"Hails?! What the fuck just happened?! Are you ok?!" I heard my brother storming towards us. Someone must have beat me to him.

I pulled away from Seth and looked at my brother who looked like he could kill with his barehands.

He rushed over and took me into his arms.

"I want him taken away. BEFORE I GET TO HIM." He barked at someone. I closed my eyes to try to drown out the scene.

I cried into my big brothers chest.

He pulled me away looking at me.

"are you going to be ok?" he asked me looking into my eyes and handing me his handkerchief

I nodded quickly and cleaned my face.

"You should get to the hotel. Get some rest. I will ask someone to go with you" He said looking around

"I can take her." I heard Seth's voice. I had forgotten he was still there.

Paul tensed up and looked at Seth and looked back at me.

"No, that's fine. I am sure Steph can go" he said looking around for his wife

"Paul, it's fine. Seth said he can take me" I said looking up at him

I could see his nostrils flair up while he tried to come up with another excuse.

"I mean, I am done for the night anyway" Seth said.

"Give me a minute with my sister." Paul said at Seth.

Seth walked over to the other side of the room and Paul looked at me straight in the eyes

"No funny business" he said giving me the intimidating look he loved to give to make me feel like I was 5 years old.

"I just had a traumatic experience in my life. Don't worry I won't deflower your golden boy" I said annoyed

Paul gave me a look.

"I will call to check in on you. Constantly." He said

I rolled my eyes.

"I will pick up the phone. Constantly." I said fully aware that I was being a smart ass and that he hated that.

Paul walked us over to Seth

"Just make sure she makes it to her room ok and then you can head out. No need to stick around or anything" he said

I had to fight really hard to keep from laughing at how worried my brother was over this.

"Ok, no problem" Seth said looking at me

Paul walked away into his office.

"Let's get out of here" he said

"you sure you're ok?" he looked at me

I nodded putting my hair up into a messy bun

"Yes. Just have to disinfect my neck for the next 25 years" I said shuddering at the thought.

We walked to his car together and he was nice enough to open the door for me.

"Well thank you. Gives me some hope in men" I said and got in the car.

He walked around the car and got in to the driver side.

"Anything I can do to help" he said driving towards the hotel.

"So, your brother is very protective isn't he?" Seth asked looking over

I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"I've done my fair share of dumb shit in my life and now he doesn't really trust me with anything. He would breathe for me if he could" I said

Seth laughed at the last part.

"We've all done dumb shit in our lives." He said smiling

"Yeah…some a dumber than others though" I looked out the window trying not to remember the darkest days in my life.

"You had a boyfriend that passed right?" Seth said. I could feel his eyes on me again.

I could not get myself to look at him.

"Yes, Car accident" I said taking a deep breath.

"Sorry. You had a long night I shouldn't have brought that up" he said focusing back on the road.

"It's ok." I said forcing a smile.

It had been a long time since I allowed myself to think about Evan and that accident which changed my life. Not only did I lose him that night, but that night was what led to my many problems.

By the time we got to the hotel, I was not in a mood to talk. I walked with Seth to my room and looked at him.

"Well, thank you for coming with me. I am sure it wasn't necessary but my brother loves to over react" I said looking through my purse for my keycard to the room

"Oh, no worries. Again, sorry for bringing up your boyfriend. I Noticed you got kind of quiet after that" he said looking at me

I grabbed the key card and looked at him.

"Oh, it's ok. I mean…I guess everyone is always a bit interested by it." I said shrugging my shoulders

"I will tell you all about it another time." I said giving him a small smile

"No need. Here take my number down in case you need anything" he said

I reached down to grab my phone and created a new contact for him.

"Ok, thanks. I am sure I will be fine but will let you know if I need a knight in shining armor again." I said smiling

I turned around and swiped my keycard opening the door behind me.

"I will see you around" he said looking at me with those sweet dark eyes of his.

"Have a good night, Seth" I smiled and walked inside closing the door behind me. I put my purse down on the table and collapsed onto the bed letting the tears run free.

I hated feeling weak; it always brought thoughts of self-medicating again to not have to deal with the situation. I looked at my phone and saw my brother calling. I hit ignore and powered the phone off. I will just deal with his wrath tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I walked down the hotel lobby and immediately saw my brother charging towards me. Based on the insane amount of missed calls and texts from him, I had an idea of what was coming.

"Where the hell where you last night?! You had me worried sick!" He said

"Sorry, I turned my phone off. I just needed to rest" I said looking around

"Well, you can't just do that Hailey. I didn't know if you were drugged out somewhere or at a bar" he said clearly angry

I just shook my head.

"Well here I am. Want me to take a pee test?" I asked

"That is not the point. I was just worried about you. You haven't handle stress very well in the past" Paul said

"Ok, well I am fine, ok. It is way too fucking early in the morning to be dealing with this." I said walking away

"No. you are coming with Steph and I" he barked

Stephanie walked over and grabbed my brother by his arm.

"Paul..she's a grown woman let her go you have to trust her at some point" She said looking at me with that pity in her eyes again

I faked a smile

"Thanks, Steph." I walked out before my brother could object again.

I walked down the street without any real direction. Stopping by a coffee shop, I sat at an outdoor table alone thinking my life over. This is what I had been reduced to. A grown woman having to get permission from her brother to grab a cup of coffee out of his sight.

I started feeling anxious. Which made me nervous because it always gave me an urge to use and drink again. I looked at my phone playing with my fingers. I picked up the phone and was about to call an old friend from my dark days but instead almost without thinking to avoid hesitation I texted Seth.

Me- "Hey, It's Hailey. Are you busy?"

I starred at my phone almost instantly regretting sending that text.

Seth – "Hey! No just at the hotel, what's up?"

I slid my finger over the text and thought of just deleting. I looked at it for a second.

Me – "you were so nice to me yesterday, figured I'd at least buy you a coffee as a thank you. Meet in the shop down the street from the hotel?" I took a deep breath and hit send

Almost as soon I sent I got a reply back which made me feel better about sending it in the first place

Seth – "Sounds good. Be there in a few"

I waited and saw him walking in the distance; I looked down at my phone trying to find something to do with my eyes other than watch him walk.

When he was close enough I looked up and smiled

"Hey! Thanks for coming" I said

He smiled and sat down across from me

"Sure, it was a welcomed text. I was just sitting there bored" he said putting in his drink order.

"You don't owe me a coffee though. I was just doing the right thing" he said

I smiled and took a sip of my coffee.

"So, you feeling better today?" he looked at me

"Yes, much. I think after finally taking off a full layer of skin from my neck I feel much better" I said laughing a little

He laughed

"That's so gross. Sorry that happened to you" He laughed again

His laugh was contagious – got me laughing along with him.

"I think I might become a nun after that" I said laughing

"Oh great, so he ruined it for all men out there?!" he asked

I smiled

"Pretty much" I said nodding taking a sip of my coffee

"Not all of us go around cornering women. Some of us do it in a classier manner" he smiled

I laughed and looked out at the cars driving by.

I watched him as he prepared his coffee the way he liked it and I knew that Paul was right. I was to messed up to drag him down with me.

"His name was Evan." I said before I could stop my self

Seth looked up at me

"My boyfriend. His name was Evan" I said

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. I should have never asked" he said

"It's fine." I said

"I was in the car with him. I was actually the one distracting him from the road." I said staring at my coffee hoping I could get through it without crying

"We had been drinking. He shouldn't have been driving. I was too drunk myself to stop him" I said looking over at Seth who was just listening giving me his full attention

"You shouldn't blame yourself." He said sweetly

If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me I would have enough to be free of my brother. It was always easier said than done.

"After it all happened…" I stopped to take a deep breath

"I became depressed. I got addicted to the pain meds that were given to me after the accident. Started drinking heavily. The pain meds and alcohol were not a good combination." I looked at him ashamed of my story.

I was glad to see that he wasn't looking at me with pity or a judgmental manner. Instead he reached over and put his hand over mine

"My brother took it upon himself to get me out of all that. So I guess there is a reason behind my brother's madness" I said nodding. More trying to convince myself to be accepting of my brother than anything else.

I looked up at him

"Thank you for telling me. I know it must not be easy" he said

"You're actually the first person I've told. I mean everyone else just sort of knew what happened already so you are the first person that I've shared it with myself" I said

He smiled sweetly.

I had no idea why I decided to tell him. There was just something about him that made me feel comfortable and safe when around him. I knew he wouldn't use it to make fun of me or belittle me and it felt nice to actually tell someone about it.


	5. Chapter 5

That night at the show I was walking around the backstage area making sure everyone had arrived in time for the show. It was my least favorite task; I hated having to deal with a bunch of idiots whose egos were much bigger than their actual brains.

I had learned it was better to avoid actually talking to any of them. I just wanted to get the list over with and get out of there. I was walking around checking names off as I saw people around not bothering to ask if they needed anything. They're all adults- they can grab their own stuff.

I dropped the list off to a production manager and headed on my way. I was really trying to do my job well, at least in the eyes of others. Maybe If I did a good job then my brother would free me from this.

I was looking through my Instagram at all the pictures my friends were posting of their vacations and European trips. That sure as hell beat the routine had become my life. I was looking forward to the next few days I would have off.

"I hate seeing you all alone" I heard Seth's voice and looked up to see him walking towards me

I laughed a little

"I was actually living vicariously through my friends Instagram pictures from their ski trip to Switzerland" I said pouting.

He sat next to me. Ever since I had opened up to him I felt we had developed a closer friendship. A very respectful friendship and I was willing to bet my life that my brother had talked to him.

"Sounds fun. You going home for the time off?" he asked

I looked down a little. I hadn't planned anything other than going home. Now that he asked that planned sounded kind of stupid. Being alone probably wasn't the best idea for me but going home with Paul and Steph was probably drive me over the edge faster.

"I think I am just going home to my place. Skip the Levesque family get together" I said looking at him

"You're going to be alone?" He looked at me with concern in his eyes.I had already told him that I struggled a bit when I was alone

"Yeah it's only a couple of days. I should be fine" I said smiling trying to convince myself.

I looked down at my phone knowing my friends were mostly all out of town.

"Why don't you come with me. " He said like it was no big deal

My heart skipped a beat

"Where?" I asked

"Iowa!" He beamed

"Iowa?" I looked at him trying not to sound too discouraged by the offer.

He laughed

"I know it's not as fancy as Amherst, New Hampshire but it would be a nice change of scenery" he said

Iowa did not sound at all inviting. I didn't know much about it but I am sure if there was something to see I would have known by now.

Seth looked at me with those dark eyes of his.

"You don't have to answer me now. Just think about it. Offer is open until I leave tomorrow morning" he said walking away

I watched him walk away thinking about it

"I really fucking hate the way you look at him" Said Paul making my jump

"You are such a creep. I am just watching him you make me sound like a damn rapist" I could hold back my laugh

I was glad that Paul laughed too. Meant I wasn't in trouble.

"So we're taking the plane back home tomorrow. Talked to mom, she asked if you were coming home" he said looking at me

I couldn't look at him. I hadn't gone "home" since I got better from the accident. I couldn't go anywhere without feeling everyone looking at me and talking amongst themselves. I couldn't even imagine having to run into Evan's parents at the Sunday service my mom would surely force me to go to. Everything in that town had a story that I didn't want to remember.

"I can't Paul…" I said looking at him holding back tears.

I saw my big brother look defeated. He sat next to me.

"You have to fix YOU. He died…you didn't. You have to live life you have to find your own reason to live" He said looking down at me

I wiped away tears and felt his arms wrap around me.

"You have to let go of the guilt. What are you going to do if you don't come home?" he said looking at me

I thought about Seth's offer.

"A friend invited me to their place" I said not lying just not needing full disclosure. I knew he would freak out and over react to the situation.

"What kind of friend?" he said looking at me suspicious. I wasn't sure what he was trying to dig. I figured he was just trying to see if I was going to go on some sort of binge with the wrong friends.

"Don't worry. This is a good friend" I said smiling at hime

"Ok…Hails…please, if you feel alone, sad, guilty whatever it may be..call me. I will come get you. Please" he said with concern in his eyes.

I hated that I had been putting my family through this.

I gave him a big hug

"Thank you, for everything." I said feeling him return the hug.

"You need money for your trip?" he asked making me feel like a kid

I laughed a little

"Hmm.. actually I think I have enough saved with my wages" I beamed

He gave me a rare proud smile.

"I know how much you get paid. You must be going to some shit hole" he laughed

"Well…won't be the swiss Alps but…should be fun" I said smiling

"Ok. TAKE CARE" he said kissing the top of my head and walking away

I stood there watching him and then it hit me that I was going to go to Iowa, with Seth. If only Paul knew the meeting probably wouldn't have been to pleasant.

I grabbed my phone and texted Seth

Me: Alright. Count me in.

Seth: Nice! :D I'll get your ticket so no backing out now.

I looked at my phone and took a deep breath. Not knowing what to expect but knowing anything would beat Amherst, New Hampshire at this point.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day we were driving from the airport to Seth's house in Davenport. I was looking out the window.

"We're going to stop by my parent's house pick up my dog. " he said looking at me

My heart stopped and I looked at him. Out of all the scenes that I played in my head meeting the parents never occurred to me.

Seth must have seen the panic in my face because he laughed.

"It's ok they're the sweetest people you will ever meet. Promise" he said pulling up to a very humble home at least to me.

"I can just wait in the car" I said looking at him with pleading eyes

"If you stay in the car the neighbors will slowly start lurking trying to see who the hell I brought home" he said

I looked around at his neighbors houses.

He walked over and opened my door smiling.

"Come on get out." He said reaching in and pulling me out by the hand

"Do they know I am coming?" I asked following him

"Yes, I kindly asked them not to embarrass me too much" he said walking in

I followed and watched as Seth greeted his parents and his dog. He was really happy to see his dog.

"Mom, dad this is Hailey." Seth said to his parents pointing to me

I smiled and shook both their hands

"Nice to meet you both. " I smiled trying not to show that I was actually very uneasy in this family setting.

"You are even more beautiful than Seth said!" Seth's dad said and laughed

I couldn't help but laugh at the mortified look on Seth's face.

"Ok. Time to go" He said getting up

"Don't be a party pooper. You guys just got here. Stay for dinner" His mother said warmly

Seth looked at me with an inquisitive look.

His mom looked at me and I panicked.

"That sounds good" I smiled. Another Levesque trait that I did no inherit was the courage. I did not know how to say no and of course it had gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past.

"Great! I will get dinner started" His mom started walking towards the kitchen.

"I can help" I smiled and followed. I don't even know why in the world I said that I am just I saw it in the movies that was what you were supposed to say. The only time I remember cooking was when I helped my nanny's in the kitchen growing up.

I watched as Mrs. Rollins was giving me instructions on how to cut some potatoes. I nodded. Praying I didn't cut a finger off.

I started cutting the potatoes slowly and answering simple questions about myself that Seth's mom was throwing my way. I was slowly getting more comfortable with this potato cutting situation. I looked around at the simple house. It was not what I was used to but there was something very homey about it.

I got too cocky cutting the potatoes and felt as the knife sliced my skin.

I let out a loud whimper. Louder than I had hoped and saw the blood everywhere. My main objective was making sure that the already cut potatoes did not get blood on them.

Seth's mom rushed over

"Are you ok?" she said grabbing my hand and putting it under running water

Seth walked in the kitchen shortly after

"What happened?" he asked looking over his mom to my finger

Of course this would happen to me. Why would it be a smooth visit?

"She has a cut. Doesn't look too bad though thankfully, no stitches needed at least. Go grab the first aid kit Seth" his mom said putting pressure on the cut.

I was looking away trying to not see the blood. I hated looking at blood. That was another effect of the accident. There was just so much blood that night

Seth came back with the first aid kit

"I'll take care of it" He said taking my hand from his mom.

I looked at him mortified

He dried the cut and was prepping it for a band aid

He looked at me and smiled a crooked smile

"You sure know how to leave a lasting impression" he said putting a band aid on

I blushed and looked around embarrassed.

He squeezed my hand a little when he finished and smiled

"Don't worry about it. I was kidding" he said getting up and walking to put away the first aid kit

I let his mother finish the cooking without attempting to help any longer. We sat down for dinner with his parents. I was happy that they didn't focus too much on me and instead I got to see Seth interact with his family. Seth would give me a reassuring smile every so often to make sure I was still hanging in there.

I looked around and tried to imagine what my own family was doing that night and then what Evan's family was doing that night.

"Dinner was amazing mom. Thank you. We should get going though I am exhausted" Seth said getting up

I snapped out of my depressing vision and followed his lead.

"Thank you both so much for opening your home to me. I had a wonderful time" I smiled

"It was a pleasure having you over. Maybe if you heal in time you can help me with thanksgiving dinner" his mom smiled

I smiled back. I was not going to help with dinner. Ever.

We said our goodbyes and headed out the door.

Seth opened the car door for me and I hoped inside watching him run over to the driver side to hop in while saying hi to some neighbors.

"They just wanted to see you" he said laughing referring to the neighbors.

I looked around self conscious. Feeling like a fish on display in a tank.

"Don't worry your making me look real good around here" he laughed driving off

I laughed too.

"How's the finger feeling?" he asked taking my hand and lifting it up so he could see if it had bled through the bandage

"Still throbbing" I said pouting

"That was seriously fantastic. Have you ever held a knife before?" he laughed

"Of course I have held a knife." I said

"Mainly plastic knifes though" I laughed being honest

He looked at me and started cracking up.

"That was really cute though that you wanted to help my mom. Thanks" He smiled

"Sure. My mom would of probably died of a heart attack if she saw me. I didn't even help set up the table at home" I smiled a little

Seth pulled into his own drive way when we got to his place.

I studied the house before getting out of the car and rushing in with him trying to escape the cold night air.

"Welcome to my home" he said turning on the lights

I looked around taking it all in. I felt my phone vibrate.

"I am going to go prep the bed for you" he said but I wasn't paying much attention as I reached for my phone

I looked at it and saw a text from my brother.

Paul: hey, just checking in. Let me know you're ok. We miss ya.

I looked at the text and bit my lip

Me: I'm ok, I promise. Just enjoy your time. Hug mom and dad and the girls for me.

I hit send and that last part filled my eyes with tears. I hadn't seen my parents or my nieces in so long and seeing Seth with his parents made me miss them, but the truth was that our relationship had changed after it all happened. I knew that as much as I wanted to imagine us sitting around a table as a big happy family, they were much happier without my drama there.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up early the next morning and hopped in the shower getting ready for the day. After getting ready and slipping into some jeans and a comfortable hoodie. I walked downstairs slowly in case Seth was still sleeping on his couch.

I had felt guilty all night that he was demoted to his couch but he swore that it was actually extremely comfortable and he fell asleep on it all the time.

I was happy to see that he was awake and also ready for the day; he was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Making breakfast? You perfect thing you." I said laughing a little

He looked at me and smiled

"Well I have made it my mission to keep YOU away from the kitchen as much as possible for the remainder of the trip" He laughed going back to the bacon he was cooking.

I laughed looking at my bandaged finger and sat on the floor playing with Kevin.

"So the plan is let's go for a walk with Kev and then it's time for Bears football!" he said extra excited

Walking the dog and Bears football, not exactly my idea of fun but when in Rome, do as the Roman's do.

Seth stopped and looked at me

"You aren't a Patriot's fan are you?" he said looking at me with an exaggerated grossed out look

I laughed and sat on the table and he lowered the plate with the eggs and bacon he just made.

"I am not. My whole family is though" I smiled thinking of the many thanksgivings spent watching Patriot's games with my parents and Evan.

"Ok, normally I would say guilty by association but I will let it slide. I should have asked BEFORE inviting you to meet my parents" he said smiling

I laughed a little

We finished the rest of the meal and I stood up after cleaning up and washing the dishes.

I could feel his eyes on me while I was watching the dishes. I looked over at him and smiled

"What's up? " I asked

"Nothing." He smiled standing up and walking to the living room to grab Kevin's leash.

I finished the dishes and joined him and Kevin in the living room to head out for the walk.

I walked next to Seth looking around the town as we were walking.

"Different from home?" he asked

I smiled at him nodding a little

"A bit" I said truth was this was like being in a different world. Houses were small and close to each other. You could see the families preparing for the parties later that day and none of it included catering services. It was strangely welcoming.

We made it to a cute open field and sat under a tree. I looked around at the falling leaves. I loved fall. Sure this wasn't New England with our fall on steroids but it was exactly what I needed.

I watched Seth taking the leash off Kevin so he could run wild. He leaned back against the tree

"I love being home." He said sounded like mainly to himself

I picked up some leafs and started messing with them watching the dog run around.

"Are you going to go home for Christmas?" he asked me looking at me

I looked at my hands thinking about it.

"Not sure. " I said truthfully. I would like to think I would feel better by then to go see my family but the chances were slim and I knew it.

"Well..you are more than welcomed to come back here again or I can go with you to New Hampshire if you need moral support" he said

I laughed

"Or not. Geeze" he said faking a hurt in his voice

"No no. I laughed at the thought of Paul's face when he saw me bring you to family Christmas" I said still laughing

Seth laughed a cute childlike laugh

"I forgot that small detail. I might get a pedigree in front of the Christmas tree" we both laughed

"I'd protect you. I have a good figure 4." I said

He looked at me like I had just told him I had risen from the dead

"No. freaking. way." He said

"Uh yes. " I said pretending to be offended.

"Try it on me." He said sitting with his legs out

I started laughing at the sight

"No" I said trying to stop laughing

"You can't tell me you have a good figure 4 and then leave me hanging…I was about to marry you on the spot. TRY IT ON ME!" he said pointing at his legs laughing now too

"We're grown adults. People are walking by. You don't just do a figure 4 out in the open" I said trying to reason

"All I hear is that someone lied about their figure 4. Shame." he said

I looked at him.

"OK fine" I said falling for his reverse psychology

I grabbed his legs and started laughing.

"This is the weirdest thing I have done I think" I said trying to get him into the figure 4

He was laughing too helping me along the way. I finally tried my best attempt at the figure 4. And he started laughing

"Oh you jerk! At least fake a level of discomfort" I said smacking him on the chest

He fell back onto the grass laughing

"I had every intention of faking pain but that was so cute." He said laughing

I laughed too sitting back up

"You just killed any dreams of a wrestling career" I said laughing

He laughed again and sat up. I smacked the crushed leafs from his back and he smiled at me.

I could feel the mood starting to change; he was sitting a bit closer to me now. I looked at my phone.

"We're going to miss the start to your game" I said looking at him. Part of my wanted the mood change and there was another part that wasn't sure I was fully ready for it.

"Oh yes. We should get going then" he said getting up and putting out his hand to help me up

I got up wiping the leaves off me, while Seth went to grab Kevin.

We walked back to his house. It had been awhile since I had genuine fun without feeling guilty about it. I was so grateful that he had brought me here, far away from it all.


	8. Chapter 8

We went over to his parents' house for the game and thanksgiving dinner. I managed to get out of helping with dinner but decided to help with the clean up since I did ok at breakfast. I was helping his mom with the loading the dishwasher when my phone started ringing. I looked down and saw my brother was trying to face time.

I looked around in panic trying to find a pot I could talk and he wouldn't figure out who I was with. I rapidly headed outside not even putting on a jacket.

I hit the accept button and waited as it connected. I was shivering out in the snow.

"Hey Hails..mom and the girls wanted to say hi…are you outside? It's so dark can hardly see you" Paul said over acting the trying to see me part

I looked around trying to find a light so I stood next to the porch light by the door.

"Yeah – wanted to make sure I could hear you guys so I came outside" I said

"ok..here" Paul said looking suspicious but he handed the phone to my nieces and my mom

I smiled at the sight of them.

"Hey girls! Hi mom" I smiled at them. Wishing I could give them hugs instead.

"Hi sweetie..don't you have a jacket?" my mom said concerned. She was always such a mom.

I laughed a little trying not to shiver in front of her.

"Yeah I'll put it on soon mom. You guys having a good time?" I asked

"we miss you auntie Hailey!" said my oldest niece getting extremely close to the screen

I laughed and smiled at them

"I miss you girls too..I'll come visit soon." I said mainly just to say something not really meaning it.

"Are you coming for Christmas?" My mom asked anxiously

"I'll think about it" I said not looking at the screen. I couldn't find myself to ruin her night by telling her I wasn't planning on going back for a while.

I completely forgot about the threat of my brother finding out. Seth walked out to look for me since I had left so quickly.

"You alright?" he asked before I could stop him

Almost immediately I saw my brother snatch the phone from his own daughter.

"Hailey. Where are you? Is that Seth? DAMMIT HAILEY" He barked

"Paul! You're going to scare the girls" I heard my mom say

I froze and just stared at the screen, I couldn't figure out anything I could say to fix the situation. I could tell that my brother was taking deep breaths trying to calm down. Thank goodness the girls were there.

"I will talk to the both of you tomorrow." He said hanging up.

I looked at Seth who was staring at me

"Don't worry about it. I am sure it's just me he will be upset with" I said forcing a smile

"I'll talk to him. I don't want you to be in trouble." He said walking out and standing in front of me and handing me my jacket

"This is so stupid. I should be able to do whatever I want with whoever I want." I said looking at him pulling the jacket on

I looked out onto the street and looked back at him. I knew my brother meant well but I needed some freedom. I needed to start trusting myself to make decisions again without someone directing my every move. For months now the only decision I was making was the clothes I wore and what I ordered for food.

"You're coming with me to New Hampshire for Christmas" I said looking up at him

"Oh I am?" he asked smiling a bit

"Please?" I asked with a cheesy smile

He looked down at me and laughed.

"Alright. You got to work on your figure 4 before then though" he said smiling

I laughed and smacked his chest again.

"Don't remind me of my failure" I smiled laughing

Without me really knowing what happened I felt Seth's hand touch my chin.

He lifted my head to face him and gave me a soft kiss

"Seriously, the cutest thing I have ever seen. " He said giving me a crooked smile

I looked at him trying to catch my breath still from the kiss. I felt all sorts of butterflies exploding inside.

"We should probably head inside its really cold out" he said smiling and walking in. I was no longer cold. The freaking tease.

I followed still trying to comprehend what happened. Why was it so quick?

Thankfully we didn't stay much longer after that and headed back to his place after saying our goodbyes to his family. I would forever be grateful to them for opening their home to me and letting me a part of their holiday.

On the drive to his house I had completely put the situation with my brother on the back burner. I could not stop thinking of the kiss. I decided that if he didn't bring it up I wouldn't either. I hate how stubborn I am sometimes.

We got to his place and I walked in after him. He looked at the time and looked at me.

"We have an extremely early flight we should probably get to bed" he stated grabbing the white sheets to cover the sofa

Guess we're just acting like nothing happened then.

"ok..goodnight" I said and headed up the stairs

"Goodnight" he called out from the bottom

I walked into his room and changed into my pjs. I cleaned my face looking at myself in the mirror. I was happy to see that I was starting to look almost fully back to normal now.

I got in bed that night replaying the kiss in my head. Maybe I imagined it? I could still feel the tingle there though. Did he regret doing it and was just going to awkwardly like nothing happened? I then remembered my brother and the butterflies in my stomach got sucked into an infinite pit that had opened in there.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day I made it back to the Arena ready to face another day. I hadn't slept much thinking of the talk I was about to have with my brother. Seth and I decided to show up separately to avoid annoying my brother even more. I still couldn't get that kiss out of my head but nothing more happened after that.

I walked into the arena and it was like Paul was waiting for me. He walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"My office?" he said calmly which only scared me more

I nodded and walked with him into his office taking a seat across this desk.

"Rollins talked to me. He told explained how he just felt bad that you were going to go home alone for the holiday so he invited you. So whatever I won't dwell on that too much. Even though I told you clearly to stay away" He said sitting on the table

I looked at him and nodded. Trying not to show a reaction to what he just said. Was that it? I was a charity case for a few days? Of course. I should be used to being a charity case by now.

"I've been thinking and I think I shouldn't keep you here much longer. You look miserable everyday. Steph says that you need to start learning to live life on your own again and I am starting to agree" He looked at me

This is everything I thought I wanted to hear from him but now that he said it, it was scarier than I ever imagined.

"I will arrange so you can go back to your place tonight. Only under the condition that you promise me you will stay away from anyone who has ever enabled your addiction" he said with a very serious look on his face

"Will do" I said noddding

"Ok but I need you to actually do it not like with Rollins" He glared at me

His name felt like a punch in my stomach. How stupid was I to think that he actually cared.

"Yes, yes, I got it" I said wanting to get out of there as soon as possible

"I trust you...and I will of course always be a call away" he said

I nodded and stood up

"What's wrong? You aren't normally this quiet. I thought you would be more excited to go back to your life of ..shopping for a living" He said looking at me concerned

"Nothing I am just tired" I lied. I just wanted to get out of there at that point

"Ok, by the way. Mom got super excited that you said you were coming home for Christmas" he said cheerfully

I looked at him remembering the night before.

"I'll be there" I said and walked out before he could say anything.

I walked out and headed to start my first task of my last night. Trying to get occupied so I wouldn't think about what Seth told me brother.

I went around checking off the list of the wrestlers and I was walking back to take it to the creative team.

I saw Seth walking towards me and I did my best to walk the other way without being noticed.

"the heck was that?" Seth said catching up and grabbing my arm.

His touch felt like it burnt. I moved my arm slightly to move it away.

"Huh?" I said acting like I had no idea what he was talking about

"I was walking to talk to you and you like turned around and walked the other way" he said looking at me

"Oh, I realized I forgot another piece of paper" I said starting down at my clipboard like as if it were the most interesting thing in the world

"You ok? How did the talk with your brother go?" he said trying to find my eyes

"Yeah no I'm fine. Just busy. The talk was great. Thanks for talking to him. Gotta go," I said walking away

I walked away and after delivering the list I managed to stay out of every ones way for most of the show.

I looked at the time and saw that it was time for me to head to the airport for my flight home.I went to find my brother; he must have just finished doing some sort of segment because he was still standing with his friends from the authority.

"Hey. I'm going to head out now." I said to him, I really wished that I would have found him alone but I was running late for my flight and couldn't wait

"Alright. Be safe" said Paul giving me a hug, I hugged back refusing to show how terrified I was to going back on my own.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and looked in my eyes.

"I trust you. Trust yourself now. I will see you for Christmas" he said kissing the top of my head

All I wanted to do was get out of there. I appreciated the nice send off but I could feel Seth looking at me. Which was making me even more uncomfortable.

I didn't bother answering I walked away to find the cab that was waiting for me outside the arena.

I heard steps trying to catch up to me but pretended I didn't hear them and kept walking.

"Hailey, wait" I heard Seth call out.

I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. I began to walk faster towards the cab. He eventually got the hint and stopped following me. I didn't want to hear any more lies. I was tired of everyone feeling sorry for me. I just wanted to feel normal again. I felt so stupid. I got in the cab on my way home.


	10. Chapter 10

I had been home for a few weeks. It has been extremely challenging and I would be lying if I said the thought of getting off the wagon hadn't crossed my mind. Christmas was upon us and I tried to make myself feel better about my return to Amherst.

Another urge I had successfully fought off was the one to reply to Seth's texts or to answer his calls. I knew it was better this way. He didn't have to feel obligated to be nice to me and I didn't have to be embarrassed about thinking it was real. They eventually stopped. Another one that had stopped was my brother. He had kept his promise to let me live life on my own.

I was sitting in my living room floor wrapping gifts to take back home while watching Love actually.

I heard my door bell and ran down to pick up my dinner. I opened the door and it was not my dinner waiting for me.

"Seth…what are you doing here?" I said looking at him not sure of what to do.

I had tried to not think about him much and then there he was as perfect as the first day I saw him and decided he was the sexiest thing I had laid eyes on.

"Figured this was the only way you were going to tell me why you have been avoiding me." He said looking into my eyes

I looked at him trying to figure out the rights words to use. I was angry. Did he think my brother was not going to tell me what he said?

I was about to start talking when my food showed up.

I paid for my food while trying to avoid Seth's eyes. I grabbed the bag from the delivery guy wishing I hadn't ordered so much for just myself.

"Just come inside. It's freaking cold" I said walking back inside with him trying not to show how nervous I actually was.

Seth followed closely and looked around my place.

"So why have you been avoiding me? You didn't even tell me you were leaving the tour" he said watching me

I put my food down on my kitchen counter and looked at him

"My brother told me what you said, Seth" I said angrily at him

"What did I say?" he thought for a second

"That you just invited me to go with you because you felt sorry for me" I said trying not to sound too hurt

Seth looked at me and shook his head

"I did. I did ask you to come with me because I felt bad that you were going to come here alone." He said walking towards me

"Ok well as you can see it is all A ok around here…I don't need you to feel sorry for me anymore" I said trying to stand my ground

"You're so dumb…" he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist I felt his hand land on my lower back

I was taken back by the way my body just gave in to him.

"I felt bad because I cared about you and then during that trip I realized that you are actually pretty perfect" he said

I looked at him becoming jelly in his arms. He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss.

I kissed back and he deepened the kiss.

I wrapped my arms around his neck having to stand on my tiptoes. It had been a good while since I had a good proper kiss and this wasn't a let down.

He pulled away slowly and smiled that crooked smile that drove me crazy

"You should have come to talk to me instead of ignoring me like that" he said looking into my eyes

I nodded feeling stupid and childish. I was so hurt to hear it from Paul that I never gave him the chance to explain it himself.

He leaned down and kissed me again placing his hand on the side of my neck.

"I missed you" he said softly

"I missed you too" I kissed him again and smiled against his lips

He smiled and looked at my food.

"What you get us? I am starving" he said laughing

"Sorry to kill the romance" he said pouting a little

I laughed a little

"I am ashamed to say that I probably did order more than enough food for 2 people." I said letting go of him and getting the food ready to eat.

He laughed and helped me with the food.

"So are you ready for New Hampshire Christmas?" he asked looking at me

"I didn't talk to Paul since I didn't think you were going to come anymore" I said

"I talked to him" he said camly

"What?" I asked half excitedly half worried

"Yeah. I talked to him, that's how I got your address. I told him the truth; that since that trip I couldn't stop thinking about you and I was going to come look for you. Even though you have a shitty figure 4" he said smiling

I laughed at the last part but the rest of it made my heart swell

"He's ok with me coming to Christmas. " he said

I walked over and kissed him wrapping my arms around his neck again.

I felt his strong hands rest on my waist as he kissed back.

I forced myself to pull away not wanting to move things too fast. It had been a while for me and I knew it was better if I didn't jump in feet first.

We sat down and ate our take out Chinese food. I was finally able to get tomorrows trip out of my head. I knew it would still be challenging to see all the people and the places that Evan and I would frequent. Knowing Seth was going to be by my side made the big mountain look like a small hill.


	11. Chapter 11

We made it to New Hampshire the next day. I had avoided looking out the window for most of the car ride to my house. We decided to not stay with my parents and instead we would go to my house. It felt weird even thinking about my house, I hadn't been there in so long.

I walked in and looked around. It was a surreal moment everything looked exactly as I had left it. Including the pictures of Evan and I. I walked in and made room for Seth to bring the bags in.

"Ok this is definitely not Iowa anymore" he said looking around

I laughed a little feeling weird about the pictures of Evan now.

"Make yourself at home" I said nodding. I would try to do the same.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom and took a deep breath. I walked over to a picture of Evan and I and stuck it in a drawer. When I opened the drawer I stared down at Evan's neatly folded shirts that were in there. I had forgotten that was his drawer.

I heard Seth walk in behind me. I closed the drawer and turned around and smiled at him.

He gave me a warm smile and sat on the bed looking around.

"This is the most put together house I have ever been in" he said feeling the material of the bed sheets

I laughed

"Well thank you I take great pride in my decorating skills" I said sitting next to him. I did wish they had taken care of all of Evan's stuff for me.

He reached over and took my hand

"You doing alright?" he asked

"I am. It's definitely weird being back here and it's freezing in here we should go turn on the fireplace" I said getting up and walking downstairs

Seth joined and got to work on the fireplace.

I watched him and went to grab some throw blankets from the closet.

"We should go to the store and grab some stuff. At least water" I heard him call out from the kitchen

I laughed a little and joined him in the kitchen

"Well let's be glad it's empty and not like with year old stuff in there" I said looking at him

I watched him open a cabinet that was just filled with pill bottles.

"Ok these need to go" He said immediately and looked around for a bag

I stared at the bottles and hoped off the counter walking over to the pantry and finding a bag.

"I am actually surprised these are still here." I said starting to put the bottles in the trash bag with Seth's help.

"This is like a small pharmacy" he said putting the last ones of the bottles in there and taking them outside right away.

I smiled watching him. I was glad he was there, I knew it wouldn't have been so quick and painless had I had to do that on my own.

"Is there a store nearby? Maybe we can walk. It looks so nice around here. I feel kind of feel like George Washington" he said referring to the very colonial look of the town

I laughed

"I don't think George Washington looked this good" I said kissing his cheek

He smiled and gave me a soft kiss. It felt extremely weird kissing another guy in that house.

"Let's walk then." I smiled and walked out with him

It was a strange feeling walking down the street. I could feel people looking at us and I would make sure to smile and greet those I knew. I am sure they started talking the minute I turned my back. I held onto Seth's arm

"Hailey?" I heard a woman's voice and my heart nearly gave out on me. It was Evan's mom.

I turned around and looked at her letting go of Seth's arm right away, like I just got caught doing something wrong.

"be right back. " I said to Seth and walked towards Evan's mom

"Mrs. Davies..Hi" I said not sure if smiling was appropriate

Thankfully she smiled

"It's been so long…how have you been?" she asked I could tell she was trying to get a look at Seth behind me.

"I've been ok. How about you guys?" I said having a bit of an anxiety attack happening here.

"Well the holidays are always the hardest, but we're ok" she said I could tell she tried to force a smile.

I nodded

"I know what you mean." I said looking at the floor a bit

"Who's the handsome guy?" she asked lightening up the mood

I looked back at Seth who was keeping occupied in the distance

"That's Seth" I said smiling

She smiled at me and placed a hand on my arm.

"I know you beat yourself up pretty badly over what happened. I am glad to see you are doing so much better now" she said smiling

I nodded

"Thank you" This conversation was only making me feel worse. I prayed that the words this is what Evan would have wanted did not leave her mouth.

"I will see you around" she reached over and gave me a hug

I tried my best to hug back and not make it awkward. I watched her walk away and I walked back to Seth

"you alright?" he asked me

"That was Evan's mom." I looked at him

He looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. I smiled back a bit and walked around finishing the shopping. Not really paying attention anymore.

We walked back to my place in the snow and I looked at him when we walked in the house

"It's not what everyone thinks." I said looking at him

I knew I caught him off guard and he looked at me putting the bags of food down on the floor.

"What?" he said

"Me and Evan…it's not what everyone thinks. Everyone thinks that I fell into depression because I was too dependent on him or because I loved him so much that I lost my worth but…it's not like that" I said almost talking to myself more than to Seth

"I broke up with him. Right before the crash, the last thing he heard was me telling him that I didn't love him. That's what distracted him from the road." I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.

He wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he wasn't really sure of what to say. I wouldn't have known what to say either.

"His mom looked at me today and she still had love in her eyes for me. I reminded her of him. She would hate me if she knew. How am I supposed to live with the fact that I broke his heart like that in his final seconds" I said laying my head on Seth's chest

"Hails..you had no way of knowing what was about to happen." He said rubbing my back

I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around him

He kissed my forehead making me feel so much better.

"She can't know though…she shouldn't know that those were his finals seconds" he said to me

I nodded.

"I feel kind of guilty now." He said looking at him

"Why?" I looked up at him

"Well because I was kinda worried that I would never replace him" he said

I was so caught up in what I was feeling being back that I never stopped to think how weird it must have been for Seth to be in a house full of memories of my ex and I together.


	12. Chapter 12

We were cuddling on the makeshift bed we made on the living room floor so we could watch Christmas movies. I had put away all the pictures of Evan that were around the house, to make Seth more comfortable. We had the fire place going and the fresh snow was coming down hard outside.

I was laying in between his legs with my head against his chest., both of us already in our pajamas. I loved it there. I felt so at home with him. He kept running his fingers up and down my arm sending tingles down my body.

Since telling him the real story of what happened that night with Evan I felt more liberated. That truth I was keeping in was weighing me down. I knew I could tell him anything and he would not judge me for it.

I looked up and saw he was falling asleep. I smiled to myself and leaned up to kiss him softly.

He woke up with a smile

"Sorry. Just really cozy" he said stretching carefully

I giggled.

"It's ok. You actually looked so cute sleeping" I said smiling

He smiled and grabbed me by the arms pulling me up closer to his face and kissed me.

I kissed back and deepened the kiss.

I felt his hand slide up my thighs to my butt to bring me even closer to him.

I leaned over him kissing him. I pulled away and pulled his shirt over his head leaning up against his naked chest I kissed him again.

He broke the kiss and move his lips onto my neck. I closed my eyes as he slid in his hands under the elastic of my pajama pants and gave my backside a light squeeze. Feeling the warm of his hands so close to my throbbing lady parts was driving me all sorts of crazy.

I looked down and kissed him again. Rubbing my body against the bulge that had grown his pants.

He stopped and looked into my eyes

"Are you sure?" he asked making sure I was fully ready.

I smiled at him and bit my lip

"Extremely sure" I said laughing a little

He got up to his knees and kissed me laying me back slowly. He began to kiss my neck again this time sliding his hand into my pants and finding my clit with his fingers.

I took in a deep breath with his first touch. I bit my lip and he used his finger to massage my throbbing clit with his mouth finding mine again. I moaned into his mouth as he slid 2 fingers inside of me slowly.

He moved in his fingers in and out and still managed to use this thumb to continue massaging my clit.

I moaned and arched my back feeling close to coming. It had been a while a simple kiss from him would almost send me over the edge lately.

"Wait wait" he said softly pulling his fingers out. I looked at him trying to figure out what kind of cruelty this was

"I want to be inside you when you come" he whispered in my ear. I had no answer to that. I nodded not even going to try to use words and expect to make sense at this point. I reached up and helped him remove this pants.

He reached down and removed my clothes laying me back down and leaning over me.

I looked into his eyes as he entered slowly, being considerate of how long it had been for me. I let out a moan and grasped the pillow behind me.

He slowly moved in and out letting me get adjusted. I brought my legs around his waist giving him more room. He increased his speed leaning down and taking one of my nipples into his mouth.

I moaned and bit my lip watching him. He kissed me again. While grinding his hips against mine.

He pulled away and pulled out slowly.

"What are you doing?" I managed to gasp out

He smiled moved me onto my side and moved to lay behind me. Pulling me up against him. Entering me from behind.

I looked back at him and kissed him. He reached around me with his hand and rubbed my clit with his fingers while thrusting in and out of me. I felt my body behind to tighten as I was reaching my climax.

I let out a moan and he pushed himself inside releasing at the same time as me. He leaned against me and gave me a kiss. I laid back trying to catch my breath.

"That was amazing" I said smiling at him

"That was" He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it was past midnight. I looked at him and smiled

"Merry Christmas!" I said smiling

He laughed a little and kissed me

"You are too cute" he said

I sat up and started getting dressed and he did the same we both laid down and cuddled again.

"We have to be at my parents house extremely early to watch my nieces open their gifts" I said not really looking forward to it, I was having a good time just he and I

"ok…do you want your gift then or do you want it now?" he asked

I looked at him

"You cannot do that to me…I want it now" I said smiling

"That was way too sexy " he laughed and stood up walking up to the bedroom I watched him walk away. He hadn't bothered putting his shirt back on and I was not complaining.

I got up quickly and grabbed his gift from the bag of gifts I had and sat back down and waited.

He came back down with a small gift bag.

He smiled

"oh! Do I get a gift too?" he said sitting back down next to me

I laughed a little and we exchanged bags

I let him open mine first and watched and he excitedly tried on the hat I got him and talked about using some stuff for his Cross fit stuff that he had asked about I still didn't understand what they did.

"ok open yours" he said smiling

I pulled out a little box and opened it. Looking at the shiny falling leaf necklace that was inside.

"Oh it's beautiful!" I said

"I thought of you the minute I saw it. For a couple of reasons. 1. We met in the fall. 2. You said your favorite season is fall and 3. I am pretty sure I fell for you that day we sat on the leaves at the park" he said looking at me

I looked at him with my eyes tearing up. That was possibly the most thought that ever got put into a gift that I had received. Now I hated that I just got him dumb practical stuff.

"You are seriously Mr. perfect" I said laughing a little "I love it! Thank you" I leaned over and kissed him

He kissed me back

"Glad you like it" he said smiling

We put our gifts away and got back into bed. He pulled me to him and held me close as he started dozing off. I couldn't remember the last time I was this at peace and this happy. He had changed so much in my life in such a small amount of time.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day Seth almost had to drag me out to go to my parent's for Christmas. It's not that I didn't want to see them it's just that although that is probably where I was most loved that is also where I was most judged. We got there extremely early so we could see my 3 nieces open their infinite amount of gifts. It reminded me a lot of my growing up.

All I wanted to do was to go back to my place and spend the rest of the day alone with Seth. I knew he had to go back on the road that night and I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

When we finished lunch as a family I gave Seth a tour of the house. Mainly just to get away from everyone else. We got to my old bedroom growing up.

He laughed when he walked in

"Backstreet boys fan then" he said laughing at my posters

"Duh. You are really only here until Nick Carter accepts my marriage proposal from 1999" I said laughing

He smiled and kissed my forehead. I loved when he kissed my forehead he always did it slowly and sweetly.

"Guess I'll be around a while then" he smiled looking at my old high school pictures that were scattered around the room

I watched him. I really did hope he would be around a while. It might sound cheesy but there was something about my feelings for him that stood out over anything else I had felt before.

"you were just what I imagined" he said holding up an old cheerleading picture from high school

I laughed and walked over to him wrapping my arms around his neck.

"This is a very proud moment for the unpopular punk teen inside of me" he said wrapping his arms around my waist

"You're such a dork" I laughed and kissed him

He kissed back and pulled away slowly

"I feel like your dad is going to catch us" he laughed

I laughed and let go of him

"So now we add bad taste in music to the list of cons, which Is good because so far that list was pretty empty." He said

I laughed and laid down on my old bed

"Ok you need to get up. I don't have that much self control" he laughed

"The pink bed sheets turn you on?" I gave him an inquisitive look

"It's what's ON the bed sheets that turns me on" he gave me a crooked smile

I bit my lip.

"My innocent virgin room has never felt this sexual tension before" I laughed and stood up

"We should get downstairs before it's not longer an innocent virgin room" he said kissing me

I kissed back

"We should get back to my place" I said walking downstairs

"That sounds like a wonderful idea."

Seth and I walked down stairs and joined the family in the living room.

My dad looked at me and then back at the TV. I could tell he was not fully comfortable with Seth. I was also sure it was not Seth's fault it was mainly that Seth wasn't Evan. Evan had been everything that my dad would have wanted in a son in law. He was a successful business man from a well off family.

"We're going to get going" I announced looking around the room

"How much longer are you staying in town?" my mom asked

"I am leaving tomorrow morning" I said looking around for my scarf and avoiding eye contact

"Why don't you stay until after New Years" she said

I closed my eyes I knew she was not going to just accept the 1 day visit and I had no desire to stay after Seth left.

"Mom..I really should get back" I said

"Why? It's not like you have a job to get back to" my brother chimed in with a smile.

I glared at him. He loved to remind my parents that I was still living off of them.

"Please?" my mom asked taking my hands

I let out a big sigh

"Ok Fine. I guess I can manage" I said not entirely convinced myself that I would be ok.

"We should probably sit down and talk anyway" my dad said in a serious tone

"Ok …well then I will see you guys around" I said grabbing my purse

Seth and I said our goodbyes and headed back to my place.

"Iowa for Christmas next year." I declared putting my stuff down

He beamed

"Sounds like a plan" he said sitting on the couch and looking at his watch.

I slid onto the couch next to him and cuddled against him. I felt his strong arms wrap around me.

"I hate that you have to go" I said pouting knowing that is why he looked at his watch.

He looked down at me and smiled

"I do too but it'll go by quickly and then I will be back first chance I get" he said

I tried to focus on him coming back instead of him leaving.

"Are you going to be ok here by yourself?"

I wasn't sure, but no point in worrying him.

"Yes I will be fine. It will give me a chance to clean up all of Evan's stuff" I said. His name again causing a pit in my stomach.

I was not sure that I would ever be able to talk about Evan without feeling a stab in the heart. Any time I said his name I could see his face of hurt and confusion when I told him things were over between us. That is really the last I remember of him. I hit my head and was knocked unconscious almost immediately after.

He looked at his watch again

"Babe, I really should get going. I have a long drive" he said sitting up

"Ok.." I said looking at him

"Please don't look at me like that…you'll make me end up staying" he said laughing

I laughed and forced myself to smile so that he wouldn't feel bad

"That fake smile is so welcomed" he laughed and kissed me

"Ok call me when you get there …don't text me while driving" I said

He laughed

"Ok mom" he kissed me again

I kissed back wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him closer

He started laughing against my mouth

"This is harder than I thought" he said

I laughed and let go of him

"OK ok go on without me" I smiled

I watched him walk out with his bag. He hadn't even closed the door behind him when I was already missing him. I never considered myself a clingy girlfriend; in fact, I had always enjoyed having plenty of time for myself. I looked around the empty house that was fully of memories that I had successfully drowned out while Seth was there with me. Now I had no distractions.


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning I got up early. After my shower slipped into some yoga pants a sweater and put my hair up into a messy bun. I made my self a cup of coffee and sat on my couch watching the snow fall outside.

I took a sip and looked around my house. Going back in time remembering how in love I was with it when Evan and I came to see it for the first time. The vibration from my home snapped me out of it. I looked down and smiled when I saw a text for Seth.

"Miss you, gorgeous. Have a good day :* "

That little smiley face made me chuckle.

"You need to bring the cuteness down a notch when you're not here to kiss"

"I'll see what I can do. I am about to go into a radio interview. I will text you when I am out"

I smiled and looked out the window again. I was waiting for my mother to arrive; I had called her as soon as I woke up to ask for her help with Evan's things. I was not surprised that she happily agreed.

I saw her car pull up and I made my way to the front door. I walked up to her to help her with some boxes she had brought to pack the things in.

"Thanks mom"

"Of course. See in Boston you don't have mom's help"

I laughed and walked inside leading the way. I walked to the kitchen. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"That sounds lovely. "

She sat on a stool in my kitchen island as I grabbed a cup and began pouring her coffee. I placed it in front of her and leaned over the counter.

"We didn't get to talk much yesterday"

My mom said taking a sip from her coffee. I smiled and nodded.

"So tell me how are things going with Seth?"

I smiled before I could reply. I felt like a teenager all over again.

"Great. He's so wonderful and loving." I bit my lip stopping myself from continuing. My mother looked at me with a smile.

"Well that's good. He's cute. Seems like a nice guy. Paul and your father are both a little concerned though"

I rolled me eyes and stood up straight. I wasn't surprised that she had been talking behind our backs but it hurt just the same.

"Well just hear me out. It's valid concerns. Paul is of course concerned on what happens when it ends, Seth working for his company and all"

When it ends. Not if but when. I was about ready to end the conversation right then.

"And your dad, well he's concerned about you. " she took another sip of coffee and avoided my eyes.

"What about me?"

"Well, you don't have a job. We have been supporting you and after Evan passed we took over the mortgagee for this house and then the apartment you got in Boston and well he's concerned that Seth is not the right.. Fit" she said nervously

"The right fit? Fit? I don't even know what that means. Fit for what?"

I could feel my blood boiling and I knew where this was going.

"Well, your father and I will take full responsibility for this but you are not exactly the most self sufficient person and he just doesn't think that Seth would be able to handle you. Financially if it came to that"

" I can get a job" I said grinding my teeth

My mom let out an involuntary giggle

"Sorry honey. I just don't see you holding down a job. Plus you are already used to this life. You had it with us. You had it with Evan. What are you going to do? Move to Idaho?"

"He's from Iowa." I said almost throwing my coffee cup in the sink

"Don't get angry. We just worry about you. That's all" she said quietly

I looked at my phone when it vibrated and saw another text for Seth.

"Having fun with your mom? Say hi to her for me :D"

I shook my head. I was so upset that they would dismiss him like that. They hadn't even given him a chance. I turned around and faced my mom. I learned over the counter to be closer

"I love him."

"You love him? You just started dating him not too long ago. How can you love him?"

My mom stood up putting her cup in the sink. I knew she was dismissing what I had just said to her.

"Mom, stop. I'm talking to you. I love him. I know that we haven't been together for very long but I have never felt like this about anyone"

I said following her around the kitchen feeling like a child.

My mom turned around and looked at me

"How dare you. What about the love you had for Evan?"

I looked at her and thought about telling her the truth of what happened that night of the accident. How I had broken up with Evan. How I had stopped loving him long before he passed. Looking at her though I knew she wouldn't be as supportive as Seth was.

I rubbed my hand over my face. Wishing I could just go away.

"It's just new and exciting, Hailey. New and exciting doesn't last. Just promise you'll think about it"

"I have nothing to think about, mom. I am not turning away from someone I love because of money. Of because he doesn't fit whatever image you and dad have"

She shook her head and continued to pack. I soon joined. I was glad that my anger towards her blocked out any feelings towards Evan's things.

"What are you going to do with these things?"

"His mom kept all his things but I will take them to her see if she wants these too" I said flatly.

We finished the downstairs area and headed to the bedroom. I took out one of the drawers and placed it on the bed.

I stared down at the clothes in front of me.

"Here I will do it. You grab the hanging clothes" my mom said stepping in and literally moving me out of the way.

I went into the walk in closet and looked at his clothes. His suits, his ties, they were all there. It almost felt like he would walk in any minute. I started to feel the familiar empty feeling that comes with anything Evan related. I ran my hand down the sleeves of his shirts.

"I'm so sorry I did that to you" I whispered and wiped tears from my eyes. I grabbed everything and walked them out to the bed room.

My mom looked at my face and gave me the pity look that I hate so much.

"Don't. I'm fine" I said turning around and grabbing the box of Evan's watches from the vanity and putting them in the carboard box.

She understood that I did not want to talk about it and thank God left it alone.

"You need to talk to your dad."

She looked at me and gave me a smile. It was the same smile she gave me when I was little when she knew I was in trouble and there was nothing she could do to help me. I just nodded and grabbed a few boxes taking them downstairs to my car.

"This is the kind of shit that drives people to drink" I mumbled to myself and walked back inside.

I watched as my mom walked downstairs grabbing her purse.

"Everything is packed. Go ahead and take it to Anne. Let me know what she says. "

She gave me a quick hug and walked out.

I stood there watching her leave. I sat back down on the couch and realized I never replied to Seth's text.

"Worse than I thought"

I grabbed my car keys and played with them in my fingers. I was trying to build courage to take Evan's stuff to his parent's house. I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath realizing that the courage was not going to come today. I shifted my attention to the talk I needed to have with my dad. I thought about telling Seth what my mom had said but I didn't want to make him feel bad.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day I met my dad for lunch. I was glad it was at a public place that way he would at least keep his voice down. I walked in and looked around walking over to him when I spotted him.

He stood up and greeted me with a hug.

"It's so nice to have you back, Hailey. I can't even remember the last time we had lunch" he beamed. Ordering another drink, which I wish he didn't.

I smiled and looked through the menu. Not really having an appetite. I just wanted the conversation to be had.

"Mom said you wanted to talk to me" I cut straight to the point

"Can't we at least get past appetizers?"

He looked around annoyed. I could tell he was struggling with whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

"Your mom told me, that you are in love with Seth." He said

I looked at him and shook my head a little. I wish my mom would have kept that to herself. I wonder if she had told Paul. Seth didn't even know.

"You know I gladly took the financial burden for you when Evan passed. I made sure that you didn't have to worry about anything but I think I have to stop. I have to let you see for yourself how hard it really is. I know how much he makes. Paul told me. That is your clothes alone for a year" he was leaning back in his chair full of arrogance

"Ok well let's get things straight here…he is not my husband or my live in boyfriend he has no responsibility to support me. I told mom I am getting a job" I said sitting up on my chair. Trying to stand my ground.

"This is my fault. How out of touch you are with reality and with how life works. Get a job, you pay your mortgage, your expenses etc. I want nothing more than for you to succeed. If you don't you need to let go of this romance of yours and find another guy that will give you everything that I was able to give your mother" He said coldly.

I shook my head taking a drink of my water. I had never, not even for 1 day, had to be financially responsible for myself. The thought terrified me. I glared at him slightly.

"I should go dad. I have to drop some stuff off at Evan's parents" I said remembering the boxes that were still in the back of my car. I stood up and gave him a hug.

He gave me a hug back. "Say Hi to Annie and George for me. You know Evan's brother is still single" he said joking. I hope he was joking

"Gross."

I walked out to my car and sat in there for a few minutes. Trying to think what I even had that were marketable traits in the work place. I looked back and saw the boxes of Evan's stuff. I shook my head and drove to his parent's house.

I pulled up and sat in my car staring at the house. The last time I had been there was after Evan's funeral. I pictured the drink that my dad had in his hand at lunch and imagined how much easier this moment would be if I had a drink or two. I reached up and touched my necklace; I was wearing the falling leaf that Seth had given me. I wrapped my hand around it and took a deep breath.

I started the car back up and headed home. The boxes could wait. I sped home and rushed inside once I got there. It had been a mentally draining day. I hated myself for not being able to build the courage to take the boxes for 2 days in a row.

I sat on the couch and folded my knees to my chest. I felt the true extend of my loneliness. It was cold sitting here on the couch by myself. I craved Seth's touch, his warm. Instead I looked around at the empty house. I didn't even have my parents to turn to anymore. I turned on the TV in hopes that Friends reruns would help distract me.

I heard a knock and looked at the door. I walked over cautiously and looked through the peep hole. My heart stopped and did a back flip all at once. I opened the door right away.

"What are you doing here!" I said throwing my arms around him.

He felt so wonderful in my arms. I could smell the delicious scent of his cologne that still lingered in his clothes mixed with his own natural smell. I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"I took a detour to come see you" he said lowering his head to kiss me.

I closed my eyes and kissed back running my fingers through his hair. At that moment I had forgotten every negative feeling I had while on the couch.

He pulled away and looked me up and down

"I missed you too much" he said kissing me again "I am only back for a few hours." He said giving me a crooked smile

"Let's make the most of it then." I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. To the bedroom.

He attacked my mouth with his pulling me up against him. I could feel his erection against me. I slid my hand up the back of his shirt caressing the soft skin of his back feeling every muscle. He wasted no time removing my shirt over my head and pulling my pants down. I did the same to him.

He unclasped my bra taking a nipple into his mouth massaging the other with his hand. I closed my eyes. He stood up and laid me down on the bed. I looked at him seductively. "I want to taste you" he said in a deep voice.

I watched him as he removed my panties and got on me immediately licking and sucking. He lifted my leg over his shoulder for better access. His long fingers were working inside me while his tongue did wonders. When I finally came it was the best orgasm of my life. He continued licking until I had to bed him to stop.

I laid back trying to breathe normal again. He however was ready for more. He grabbed my ankles and pulled me towards him, he ran his hands up my legs. He was standing on the edge of the bed. He leaned over my pinning my arms above my head kissing me. He entered me slowly and began to rock his hips. I tried to push myself against him. My brought my legs around his waist and I could not believe the power of his thrusts. I was moaning with pleasure. I could feel another orgasm building.

I screamed his name as the orgasm was upon me. The clenching of my muscles around him seemed to push him over the edge and I felt his cock twitch as he came. He laid down beside me and I turned to look at him smiling.

"That was more than worth the extra driving" he said kissing me

I kissed back and laughed. I moved from hair away from his face. I ran my fingers slowly down his jaw line.

I looked at him thinking about what my parents had said. I didn't care. I loved him and I wanted to be with him even if that meant having to turn away from a lot of things I was used to.


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning we were sitting in my kitchen. I had made him some food before he had to head back on the road again. I took the opportunity to let him know what was going on with my parents. I wasn't fully honest though; I didn't want him to feel like he wasn't enough so I made it more about me and a little less about him.

He was watching me giving me his full attention.

"So know of anyone looking for someone with no experience and a 6 year old college degree never put to use? And I need to start off with around 200k a year to scrape by" I laughed

He laughed too and took my hand

"Don't worry about it too much. You will be fine. They're right in that you're going to have to give up some stuff but you'll get used to it" he said finishing off his coffee

"Yeah...I am sure I will" I lied. I was extremely unsure.

"How much do you pay for rent right now?" He asked getting up and walking his plate and cup to the sink

"Well right now, my dad pays for the mortgage for this house which is about $13,200 a month and the Boston apartment. I'll get rid of this one. The Boston rent is $5400 a month"

He looked at me and laughed

"You have more a month in mortgage than a lot of people make a year. You will probably have to move out of the Boston apartment as well" he said calmly

I bit my lip. "I am getting anxiety just thinking about this" I said still bitting my lip.

He walked over to me and put his hand on my cheek and gave me a soft kiss.

"We'll figure it out. I promise" he smiled

I nodded smiling. I was glad that I had him for support but I was certainly putting on a brave front and hiding just how terrified I was.

I watched him put on his hat and grab his bag; I realized it was probably not going to get any easier to see him leave anytime soon.

We walked out to his car in the dark cold morning. I watched him put his bag in the car.

He turned to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Ok well this time I should be gone a little longer" he kissed my forehead

"Ugh I hate it when you leave" I said honestly

He laughed a little

"It'll fly by" he smiled

"Doubt it, but I guess at least I'll have plenty of time to look for a job"

He kissed me one last time and got in the car. I stood there watching until his car turned the corner. I headed back inside to my lonely house.

I grabbed my laptop and sat on my kitchen island. I started to look for jobs but the fact that I had no idea what I wanted to do, no experience, not even a resume made it difficult. I started to look for cheaper places to live and that was also impossible since I had no idea what I would even be making. I slammed the laptop shut.

I heard a knock on the door; I walked over and open to see my mom standing there holding a bag filled with pastries. Not exactly whom I was expecting to see.

"Breakfast?"

I walked back into my kitchen. "Kind of busy trying to start a life, Mom." I said in the most dramatic tone I could muster

She laughed, "It will be good for you to finally see the sacrifices that goes into it all"

I rolled my eyes. She was the last person to talk. She never saw where a dime came from she just knew to spend it.

She sat the bag of pastries down "Did you already eat?" she asked looking at the breakfast things I already had out

"No, I made Seth some breakfast this morning before he left"

"I thought he had already left" she said looking at me

"He had. I guess he was driving past here again so he took a detour" I said smiling remembering the nice surprise and the even better night.

I started another pot of coffee. She sat down on the bar stool and it felt like dejavu from the day before.

"Weren't you the one that said you never understood why anyone would be with a wrestler? " She asked me while taking out the pastries and setting them on a plate.

"My brother is a wrestler." I turned around to look at her.

"Yeah, and ….you told his wife you didn't understand why she would marry a wrestler"

I laughed. I did say that. "I will deal with the traveling. My main reasoning was that they traveled a lot and I didn't think they would be faithful but I trust Seth." I said pouring us cups of coffee and sitting next to her and grabbing a pastry.

She smiled "Hope you are right in placing that trust" she said eating her pastry.

I shook my head. She loved to plant little seeds that would later drive me crazy when I over thought about it.

"I saw you still have your car full of Evan's boxes" she said

I looked down at my hands "I don't think I can do it. I thought about just leaving them by her front door that is how much I don't want to do it"

"What are you afraid of?"

I was afraid she would want to talk. She might ask me about that night. I was in such bad shape before that no one dared ask me about the accident or what caused Evan to miss the red light but now that I was better I knew she still had unanswered questions.

"It's just awkward for me. I don't know. I saw her at the market when I was shopping with Seth so I imagined it was weird for her"

"you need to deal with that head on. You need to take those boxes yourself"

I ate the rest of my breakfast quietly. My life had been turned upside down so quickly. I looked at my phone and had no calls or texts from Seth. I frowned a little to myself. I had to add learning to deal with him traveling so much to the list of things I had to now do.


	17. Chapter 17

After my mom had left I opened up the laptop back up. I started to create a resume and I really wished that I had taken my internships more seriously in college since that is all I have to show. My fingers danced around the keyboard trying to figure out what to put.

I picked up my phone and texted my brother

"Putting you on my resume. I will fluff up what I actually did and how long I did it for so you know..lie "

After I had put together somewhat of an acceptable looking resume. I began to look for jobs online. I started sending my resume to a few places around the Boston area. After I had sent it to about 10 I closed the laptop back up and looked at my phone.

" I'll give you some wiggle room in the fluffing department"

I laughed a little, grateful that he went along with it since resume was already sent.

I looked at my car keys and took a deep breath. The next thing on my to do list was to grow a pair of balls and drop off the boxes. I grabbed the keys and walked outside to my car. I started the car and drove to the house once again.

I parked the car and stared at the house again. I could feel the nerves starting to get the best of me. I hoped off the car before they could. I took a box and went up to the front door. I closed my eyes trying to breathe normal. The red door in front of me was bringing back many memories. All happy memories, up until the funeral. I knocked and waited seriously thinking of just dropping the box and running like a scared child.

Marie opened the door and smiled when she saw me.

"Hailey! What a surprise." she said moving to the side.

"Hi Mrs. Davies." She cut me off before I could continue

"You used to call me mom the least you can do is only relegate me to Marie. Mrs. Davies was my mother in law. Come on in" She said with a smile

Well that was a stab in the heart.

"Marie – Mom – " I said feeling stupid but no longer sure of what to call her. "I came to drop off Evan's things from our place…there are still some boxes in the car" I said trying to focus on anything but the sadness that over took her eyes

"I will have Chris grab them for you" she smiled slightly and I could tell she was looking at the clothes in the box that I was holding in front of me.

Chris was Evan's younger brother. I figured he must be in town on break from college. I didn't have the heart to throw another excuse at her so I walked in.

She took the box from me and put it down on a table in their foyer. I looked around at the very familiar house.

"Let's have some tea" she said walking to the kitchen

I could feel my hands start to sweat. I wanted to get out of there. I followed slowly maybe hoping the earth would swallow me before we made it to the kitchen.

"Chris! Come down here" she said up the stairs as she walked past.

I followed and watched as Chris came downstairs. He looked a lot like a young version of Evan.

"Hailey has some boxes with your brother's stuff in the car. Go grab them for her and you can take them to his room" she said

I handed him my car keys and watched as he walked out. I sat down and watched her prepare the tea.

"So tell me. How is life going for you?" she said

We used to be very close. She really did treat me like the daughter she never had. Both Evan and Chris had been all boy since birth so I was that daughter she always could talk to. I still did not feel comfortable being honest about my life.

"It's ok. Trying to figure out how to make it on my own now" I said taking the teacup she was handing me

She sat down across from me while I slowly sipped my tea.

"So that boy with the two different colored hair. Is that a serious relationship?"

I almost choked on my tea.

"It's a newish relationship" I said trying to downplay it. I had no idea how to act around this woman.

"Well from what I saw he was really cute." She said

I laughed a little and nodded in agreement. Trying to focus on my "Cute" boyfriend but everything in this house just screamed Evan.

"Totally different from Evan though I noticed." She said laughing a little

"Only room for one blonde Adonis in my life I guess. Tall dark and handsome it is now" I said trying to lighten up the mood.

I was happy that she laughed "I am glad to see you are doing better. Your mom was keeping my updated on your situation. You should have never blamed yourself." She said putting her hand on my arm

I looked up at her at a loss for words. This is exactly what I feared was going to happen. She was the last person I wanted to talk about the accident with.

"Sadly, his live was much too short but while he was here you made him very happy. He would tell me every chance he got" she smiled sweetly

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, I wiped them quickly.

"I am so very sorry for what happened." I said meaning it more than she could have ever imagined. I almost wanted to tell her the truth and just have this guilt taken off me completely but she looked so at peace thinking he was happy, there was no point in telling her the truth now.

"I know you are. I am not the only one that lost someone important that night" she said

I looked at her and nodded this being what was going to send me over the edge. I had to get out of there.

"I should get going. I have to pack up my stuff as well. Thank you so much for the tea" I said standing up.

She stood up and walked me to the front door.

"Thank you for bringing me the stuff. Todd and Chris think it's weird that I kept it all but I just don't have the strength to get rid of it" she said looking at the box that was still on the foyer table.

I gave her a hug. I could feel she needed one and if I was honest with myself, I needed one too.

"Thanks again for the tea, mom" I said

She beamed. "Anytime. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here okay?"

I nodded and walked to my car. I drove about half a block and pulled over breaking down in tears. I wondered if I was ever going to stop feeling this over powering guilt.


	18. Chapter 18

That night I changed into my most comfortable pajamas and fussy socks made my self some hot cocoa and got on the couch. It had been a long mentally exhausting day and I just wanted to relax and get my mind off of everything going on.

I turned on the tv looking for something to watch. I wish Seth was around to cuddle with. I could really use his arms around me making me feel like everything would be ok.

I started slowly falling asleep on the couch until the buzzing of my phone against the coffee table startled me. I looked and saw Seth's name.

"There you are!" I said sounding sleepy. I sat up trying to wake up faster.

"Did I wake you? Sorry. I can call you back in the morning" he said

"No no. I was here on the couch watching tv and just doze off for a few minutes... I missed you today"

I took a sip of my cocoa which was no longer hot. I must have slept for longer than I thought.

"I missed you too, babe. It was a super long day" he said sounding tired himself

I laughed a little

"Yeah, same for me" I said thinking back to everything that I had done that day.

"Did you find jobs to apply to?"

"Oh, yes but.. Pay won't be that great" I said my mind flooding with worry again.

"Where?"

"In Boston. I mean that's where my apartment was so that's where I applied but I will clearly never be able to afford my place" I said with a laugh

"I am hoping to get a few days off after Tuesday. We will talk more then" he said

Tuesday seemed like so far away but I didn't want to sound like the needy girlfriend.

"Ok. I think I'll stick around here until then. No need to go back to Boston unless I get a call back from a job. I have to get all my stuff here ready as well."

"Sounds good then I'll see you in NH. Ok, babe. I am going to head to bed. I have a bunch of interviews in the morning" he said with a yawn

"Ok..have a good night" I said

"You too. I will talk to you tomorrow"

I hung up the phone. Missing his voice already. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him already but over the phone did not seem adequate. I stood up waking my mug to the sink and headed upstairs and into bed. I laid there going over my day and hoping that Wednesday got here quick.

* * *

><p>The rest of week had dragged on slowly. I had not heard back from any place I had applied for, which was not entirely surprising. I had packed up most of my stuff as my dad has decided to list the house. I had spent most of the week stressing about my situation but at least Wednesday was here.<p>

I looked at the time. It was getting late. He should be here at any minute. He had called me to check in about an hour ago. It felt like I hadn't seen him in ages.

I was playing quiz up on my phone to kill time but still would look at my phone every 5 minutes. I eventually heard a car pull up into my driveway and I looked around the house to make sure everything looked neat and in order. Not that he would care but I wanted everything to be perfect.

I waited by the door. I had gotten late so I decided to slip into an oversized t-shirt with not much else under.

He walked in and looked at me up and down biting his lap.

"You are seriously testing my self control" he said leaning in and giving me a kiss

I had been longing for this kiss for what felt an eternity. I felt the tingle all over my body that had become very normal when he touching me was involved.  
>"I am so happy you're here" I said kissing him againHe walked straight to the couch and laid me back with him on top of m. e.<p>

"I missed you" he said kissing me and sitting back up

"How was the drive?" I asked sitting up and massaging his shoulders

"It was hell. It's really coming down hard out there" he said leaning his head back onto the couch.

"Come here" he said pulling me to straddle his lap. He slowly moved some of my hair behind my ear. All I could do was smile. "You are seriously so beautiful" he said kissing my hand

I giggled. He knew what he was doing to me. I leaned forward and laid my head on his chest. He brought his arms around me rubbing my back. This is what I had been missing the entire week; his smell, his warmth, his strong arms around me.

"I love you, sweetheart" he said rubbing my back. I smiled against his chest and sat up looking at him.

"I love you too" I smiled and kissed him. I had been waiting for the right time to say it to him. One that wasn't filled with my drama but he managed to beat me to it.

He beamed and kissed back. "Alright relieve" he laughed

"What were you worried I didn't love you back?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck

He shrugged "well you know it's always scary saying it for the first time" he smiled "but I was hoping you would say it back because that leads me to the conversation about your living situation"

I closed my eyes. I had been trying to put that situation out of my mind for the days he would be there. I wanted to pretend that it was all ok with the world.

"Well I was going to mention why not consider moving to Davenport" he said I could sense the nerves in his voice

I looked at him. It had not crossed my mind to move to Davenport. I bit my lip trying to understand the situation before answering.

"I mean, you don't have to move in with me you can just move around me if that's better" he said looking into my eyes. "I would be home more often- it's centrally located so it makes it easier to detour and it's a lot more affordable"

I knew that moving to Davenport would be smart financially given my circumstances but moving in with him might send the wrong message with my parents that I couldn't do it without them. Also, I wasn't sure if I was really cut out for mid west living.

I must have taken too long in my thoughts without realizing it because he started getting fidgety.

I smiled at him "you are seriously the best" I kissed him "I think moving around you is best. I am kind of determined to show my parents I can make it on my own at least for a bit" I said being honest hoping it didn't offend him

He gave me a smile "nothing sexier than a little rebellion" he growled into my ear, nibbling my earlobe.

"I can think of a few a couple of things sexier than that" I stood up and started walking towards the stairs

He stood up and followed "oh yeah, like what?" he asked pinning me against the wall.

I gave him a devilish smile. "I think you can figure it out"

With one swift move he lifted me against the wall, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to keep my balance. He kissed me, his tongue seeking entrance. I allowed him full access and I could feel his teeth scrape my lips causing a moan to escape.

"Well that's one thing" I panted against his lips

He grinned and kissed me again slipping a hand in between us and into my panties. His fingers slid into me. "You're so wet, my love" he said against my lips

His long fingers were filling me and were quickly pushing me towards an orgasm. I moaned loudly. He leaned his mouth down and began sucking my nipple through my thin material of my shirt while adding a 3rd finger. My head hit the wall as I felt the orgasm getting closer. My hands gripped his hair.

"I need you inside" my words being more like gasps

I brought my hand down into his pants finding his erection. I ran my fingers along the length feeling his body buckle slightly with my touch.

With one move he ripped my panties straight off of me.

"whatever my baby wants"

He pulled his shorts down and with one powerful thrust he dove his cock into my wetness.

He pinned me tightly against the wall as he was pushing himself deeper. His hips thrusting against me. I could feel my orgasm fast approaching. I moaned loudly and my nails dug into his skin. He was pounding me hard when I began to feel my walls clenching around his cock. With a loud grunt he drove his cock deep. I could feel his release inside of me.

After we were both finished with our orgasms we collapsed to the floor. He laughed and kissed my forehead " I stand corrected. That was FAR sexier than your rebellion, my love"

I laughed and kissed him standing up. "Have I told you how much I loveeee having you home?" I smiled

He stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist leading me up the stairs to the bedroom. I knew it was going to be a long night but this one would actually be a good one. For now all seemed well with the world. He loved me. He was home and we would figure everything out together.


	19. Chapter 19

The spring had quickly come I had been living in Iowa now for a few months. The move was rather easy, since I had decided to not move in with him he forced me into letting him call in a favor for a job. The pay wasn't great but it was supposed to be enough to get me by. I had moved in to a small apartment that was the size of my bedroom at my old house.

I was heating up my dinner after a long day at work. I was watching the microwave spin the take out container when my phone vibrated; I picked up my phone and saw a text from Seth.

"Won't be able to come home this week. There are a couple of injuries and they need me to do more house shows"

I read the text like 3 times. It had already been a longer than normal tour.

"UGH. Tell that stupid boss of yours that I have needs too! When then?" I joked. I wanted to hide how disappointed I really was. I still hadn't made any real friends of my own the only people I hung out with were Seth's friends and usually only when Seth was in town, so I was extremely lonely.

My phone vibrated again. I picked it up expecting a reply from Seth but instead saw it was a notification from the bank that my balance fell below $25.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me"

I had been trying to make it on my own and been hiding my true financial situation from everyone. This was way over my head. No matter how many times I sat down to do a budget I was always praying that I had at least a dollar in the bank until pay day.

I sat down with my cheap take out meal and tried to remember the last time I did a proper shopping spree. I had lost my appetite but forced myself to eat.

My phone vibrated and it was Seth calling

"Hey" I said flatly trying to cool down my food

"Hey, my love. I thought I'd call you since I am not sure that you remember that...we have the 2 week European tour so I will probably not see you until after"

"Seth that would make it over a month without you coming back here"

"I knowww, I am so sorry. Things are really picking up for me and with the big push they're really counting on me so I didn't know how to say no to the extra dates"

I tried my best to understand; it was his job after all and I knew he didn't want anyone to think he got away with things because of my brother.

"Well, ok. You owe me though" I said taking a bite of the too hot to eat food

"I will make it up to you. I promise." he said

"How is it going?" he asked

"Oh, you know. Normal" I lied, I hated stressing him out.

"That's good, I think…fuck I hate doing this but I gotta go, babe. I will call you or text you later" he said

"Ok, bye" I said hanging up and tossing my phone to the side

I looked at the time and decided it was better to have an early night. I threw the almost untouched dinner into the trash and headed up to bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning I was rushing to work like normal. Work was never something I looked forward to. I was just doing office assistant work for someone Seth knew. Nothing interesting. I cursed the day that I neglected actually thinking of a career I might enjoy. I was lost in thought enjoying the spring starting to blossom around me.<p>

I was distracted and missed the bicyclist coming towards me. When I came too it startled me and startled the rider as well. He bumped into me knocking me down. Almost immediately I could feel the pain in my wrist. I knew there was something wrong.

"I am so sorry!" said the cyclist helping me up

I couldn't answer just gripping my arm in pain.

The rest was a blur to me. All I know is that I eventually made it to the hospital.

I was sitting there with a cast in my arm. I had broken my arm. Just what I needed to put the cherry on top on this wonderful thing called life.

The nurse came in and I watched her look over some paper work.

"How much pain are you feeling from 1-10" she said

I looked at her

"Surprisingly…not a lot..3? I feel pretty good" I said smiling a little

"Well that will change when the pain killers wear off" she said looking at me

My heart sunk. Painkillers. In the craziness of it all I had forgotten to let them know about my addiction to painkillers.

"you gave me pain killers?" I asked almost numb

"yes it was in your IV. You said you had no allergies. Are you allergic?" She asked concerned

"No, no allergies" I looked at the floor

The nurse handed me a bottle of pills

"Just make sure you follow the directions on the bottle. The pain will be very severe so just take the medicine BEFORE you feel the pain and you should be fine. Come back in about 6 weeks to get the cast removed"

I didn't even hear the last part. I was staring at the bottle of medicine she had placed in my good hand thinking of everything I had been through. I threw the bottle in my purse.

"You can leave now. Here are your discharge papers. I know you said you had no one to come get you so I called you a cab" she said smiling with pity in her eyes.

I headed home that night and after talking to Seth letting him know what happened, leaving out the pain killer part, and convincing him that I would survive 3 weeks without his help even though I was in a cast and he didn't need to leave. I was lying in bed trying to withstand the pain.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" I said taking deep breaths.

The nurse was not kidding once the painkillers wore off, the pain was intense but I also knew that my body was longing for it. It was like I had never stopped taking it; I needed to have it.

I got up and walked to the bathroom and saw my purse from the mirror. I knew the pills were still in there I walked over and took them out. I stared at them trying to fight the urge. I should have thrown them out while I still had control.

I started crying. I knew that I would not be winning this battle. I opened the bottle and struggled to get some pills onto the palm of my hand. I threw them into my mouth and downed them with some water from the sink. I walked back to my room and slid into bed crying, soon the pain would be gone but I knew that what I had just done would have much longer effects.


	20. Chapter 20

As the days passed, the abuse started getting a lot more frequent as my body needed more of it. I felt guilty when I talked to Seth so I attempted to keep our communication mainly to text. Also he wouldn't be able to notice anything weird through text.

I promised myself to kick the habit before he got back from Europe but so far every time I had tried I was not able to take the pain and withdrawal symptoms for very long. As the days passed and it was getting closer to Seth coming home the anxiety only intensified which was in turn making me turn to more pills to relax. I would lie to myself about my situation. I was sure that once my arm was better and the pain from it was gone I would be able to stop and deal with the withdrawals.

I had been distant with him not because I wanted to but because I was afraid he would be able to tell that there was something different. Our communication had been relegated to mostly text and when we did talk or face time I made sure I cut it short. Guilt was back to being a permanent fixture in my life.

I was asleep on my couch after dozing off watching tv. I heard a noise that woke me up. I sat up and saw Seth walking in the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked not expecting him for at least another 3 days

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow

"That's a different greeting compared to the ones I normally get."

"Sorry. You just scared me. I thought you weren't coming in for another 3 days" I said standing up and walking over to him

"They sent a group home early. I wanted to come see you so I asked to be on it, I thought you would be happy" he said leaning down and kissing me

I kind of kissed back. My mind was on that bottle of pills sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Are you alright?" He looked at me suspiciously

"Yeah, yeah, still half asleep I guess. Of course I am happy to have you back" I smiled. I did miss him and I was glad that he was back, it had felt like an eternity since I last saw him and so much in my life had changed since then.

"It's such a nice day out why are you in here sleeping?"

"Yeah I was watching a movie I must have just fallen asleep " I smiled still not really being able to look at him in the eyes.

I could tell he noticed something was off.

"You want some water?" I realized how random that question must have sounded but I needed to get into the kitchen before him.

"Sure, I guess" he said still eyeing me suspiciously

I walked over to the kitchen and tried to roll the bottle into a drawer but my coordination was off and it hit the floor with a loud noise.

I didn't notice he was not far behind and he reached down and got bottle before I could. He read the label and looked at me with a look of shock on his face. I recognized that look; I had seen it on my brother and my parents before. I could feel my breathing getting faster. I would have given anything to avoid that look on his face. He was the one person that I didn't want to disappoint.

"What is this?" He said holding up the bottle

"The hospital gave it me for my arm" I bit my lip

"Please tell me you didn't take it..." He opened the bottle and looked inside

I looked at him and couldn't lie. I knew lying wasn't going to help me out now and it would only make the situation worse.

"Hailey, this was a 60 day supply and you're nearly done with it" he put the bottle on the counter running his hands through his hair

I wiped away the tears that had started rolling down my cheek. I felt so embarrassed that I was back here again, disappointing someone I love.

He looked at me and for the first time I saw that look of pity that I hated so much. I couldn't take looking at him anymore. I avoided all eye contact and stared out the window instead.

"We need to get you help. These things will mess you up your organs quick. Have you been taking it since the accident?" He said jumping into savior Seth mode.

"I don't need help. I can do it on my own" I said stubbornly but truly believing that.

He stood there looking at me. I could tell by the look on his face he was trying to figure out what to do with me.

"Ok so then we start right now. I will flush these down the toilet then" he said walking towards the bathroom

"NO! wait wait!" I followed him trying to reason "I still have a lot of pain in my arm …once my arm heals I will be fine"

He turned around and looked at me "no. I am not going to let you abuse this until your arm feels better that's like a month away. If you think you can do this on your own you start right this second or we need to get you help" he said staring at me

I bit my lip knowing that he was serious and that he had a point. I stared at the bottle in his hand.

"ok, I will start right away." I said looking at the floor. I had never been so unsure of something in my life. I knew what had happened the last few days when I tried and I knew I had been too weak to do it then.

He shook his head and brought me into his arms

"You should have told me. You need to talk to me." He said rubbing my back as I cried into his chest

"I am so sorry. I am such an idiot" I said wrapping my arms around him

Once again I was back in his arms, after a month of not seeing him. I normally felt so safe in his arms, but I knew that even he couldn't protect me from what was coming if I didn't take those pills.


	21. Chapter 21

The rest of the day went as I had expected. I was in bed with extreme pain coming from my arm but nothing in comparison to the other withdrawal symptoms I was beginning to experience. My body was aching and I could feel the chills coming on. I was also feeling extreme anxiety.

Seth had been doing his best to take care of me but was running out of ideas. This was only a few hours into it and the symptoms could last up to a week.

I looked up when he walked into the room with a glass of water.

"I am going to call and ask for time off" he said looking at me

"no no no you can't do that if you do that then Paul is going to start asking questions" I said starting to freak out at the thought

"Hailey, there is no way you can do this on your own. If I don't ask for time off I have to leave overnight"

"I will be fine." I tried trying to sound as confident as possible but realized how pathetic I looked while saying it.

"Try to sleep. We'll talk about it more later" he said getting up and walking out of the room

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I could feel my whole body starting to shake and all I could think of was getting my hands on those pills so that I could feel better. I must have eventually fell asleep but woke up when I started feeling sick.

I heard Seth's voice from another room. He was on the phone with someone and I tried to listen to see if I could figure out who he was talking to.

I tried to sit up and Seth walked in. He must have heard me.

"What are you doing? You need something?" he asked tossing his phone on the bed.

"Who were you talking to?" I said looking at him

He looked at me and my heart sunk.

"Hailey, you were in really bad shape right now you were sweating and shaking. You were freaking out in your sleep. You need more help than I can give you here. You need a doctor" he tried to reason with me

"Who was that on the phone?" I asked again knowing the answer

"Your brother, I called your brother. I know nothing of this shit I don't know what a good hospital is. He needed to know. He's on his way" He said looking at me

I started crying

"Why would you do that to me?!" I stood up feeling just how bad my body was shaking

"Lay back down." He tried to grab me to help me back into bed

"Don't touch me!" I said pushing his hands off "Get out." I looked at him

"You don't mean that, Hailey. Just lay down it'll be fine we all just want to help you" he said trying to approach me again

"I said get out, Seth. It's over. Get out" I said sitting back down on the bed. I was so upset with him.

"Well if it's really over I rather lose you now and know that you will be ok than to keep quiet and find you dead one day" he said

I started crying

"GET OUT" I shouted, I couldn't even look at him. I knew by now my brother had probably told my parents and I was once again the biggest failure this family had produced.

"I will sit outside the front door until your brother gets here. Yell if you need me" he said grabbing his bag and walking out the front door.

I got back in bed curled up into a ball. Trying not to be sick and eventually fell asleep again. When I woke up I looked at the time and realized I had fallen asleep for a few hours this time. My brother would be here any moment now. My mouth was extremely dry.

I stood up and slowly made my way to the kitchen using the wall for support. I stared at the front door when I saw it, wondering if Seth was still out there. I walked over to the window and peeked out. There he was, sitting outside the front door.

I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water not before spilling most of it on myself from the twitching of my muscles.

I made it back to bed and sat there waiting for my brother to arrive.

Eventually I heard when Seth opened the door for him and to make matters worse my mom was with him.

I started crying at the sound of their voice and watched as they entered the room.

"Oh, Hailey look at you!" my mom came over and wrapped her arms around me

"How the fuck did this happen, Hails." Said my brother with concern in his eyes

I didn't have the courage or strength to talk. I cried against my mother's shoulder.

"I already called the rehab facility. They are expecting you. The plane is waiting to take us. We should get going" my brother said always down to the point

I looked up at them "Can't I just go home?"

He shook his head "you need medical supervision, you need to fully heal you need all the therapy that they offer. Don't look at it as a punishment, Hailey. We all just want you to get better so this never happens again. Even Seth, although you won't agree right now, one day you will see that he might just have saved your life"

I shook my head at the mention of Seth's name. Maybe one day I might be thankful but right now I wanted to punch him in the face. I felt so betrayed. He knew how I felt about getting help from my family.

I watched as my mom and my brother began packing up my stuff. When my brother stepped out my mom walked over to me and helped me get ready.

She smiled at me "my beautiful girl" she said breaking my heart into a million pieces.

"I am sorry mom" I said shaking my head holding back tears

"It's ok…you just have to promise me you will do whatever it takes to get better" she looked at me

I nodded. We had been down this road before. I knew I had let them all down again.

My brother walked into the room "The car is here for us" he grabbed my bags and helped me stand up.

My mom helped me walk out and I saw Seth was still sitting outside.

"I can't. I can't see him." I said stopping

My mom looked at Paul

"Hailey, you're being extremely unfair to him. You will regret it eventually" my brother said looking at me

"I don't want to see him!" I said

My brother shook his head and walked out to talk to Seth. I watched as Seth walked away. I walked out to the car with the help of mom avoiding looking at Seth who was getting into his car. I wiped away tears as the car drove off.


	22. Chapter 22

I was back home in New Hampshire after 90 long days in Rehab. I had been living back with my parents after getting out, being subjected to random pee tests whenever my mom felt like it. I knew better than to even suggest getting some freedom at this point.

I needed to get away from my mom who had become obsessed with being around me every minute of every day. I went on a jog around the neighborhood listening to my headphones trying to clear my mind. The cool wind of the early fall season moving in chilling my skin. I always loved fall it had been my favorite season since I was a child. This fall however was bringing back a lot of memories with it.

My mind started to wonder to that night where Seth gave me the falling leaf necklace and all it meant. I looked around at the falling leaves and they were a constant reminder of what I threw away. I couldn't even think of Seth without feeling like I should jump in front of a moving car for being so awful. I had at times contemplated calling him, but he didn't deserve this mess in his life. I am sure he was better off without me and my issues. I raised the volume in my headphones so distract myself from my thoughts.

I ran back home and walked in and headed straight to my room to shower. I got ready for a day of doing nothing and I headed back downstairs and found my mom in the kitchen.

"Have a nice run?" she asked looking through some mail

I shrugged "Yeah. It was good." I sat down on the stool and watched her

"Your brother called. He wanted to know if we wanted to go watch the paper view tomorrow night live" she said not looking at me

"uh. No." I said standing up

"I told him you'd say no. We do have to go to that party thing they are hosting for Vince though" she said

"No. I am not going anywhere close to anything WWE related, in fact I wish you would have told me they were in town and I wouldn't have gone for a run" I said drinking my water. I would never be able to face Seth ever again in my life. I was so embarrassed with him.

She laughed

"Well …you have to come, you know Vince and Linda care about you very much and they have been asking how you are doing" she said looking at me. I knew the problem was with me staying alone, for some reason she thought I was waiting on the sidelines for them to give me 5 seconds alone so that I could pop a pill cocktail into my mouth.

"Just tell them I am doing just fine and hire a nanny. Make sure she knows how to bake cookies" I said rolling my eyes and tossing my water bottle in the recycle bin

"You have become extremely sarcastic you know that, more than normal. I thought you would have learned to appreciate when people are just trying to help you and look out for you" she said turning around and throwing the junk mail in the trash. I knew what she meant by that.

"Is he going to be there?" I asked looking at her while looking at my phone trying to hide how interested I was in the answer

"Who?" she asked playing dumb. I hated when she did that. She knew very well who I meant.

"The undertaker. Who do you think, mom? Is Seth going to be there?" I asked annoyed putting my phone down and looking at her

"None of the wrestlers are going to be there." she walked away to the living room

I watched her walked away. I couldn't tell if she just made that up because she knew I wouldn't go or if that was really the case and wrestlers wouldn't go. I have been to parties where they were and weren't there so I had no real way of knowing.

I tried to research the event online to see if it mentioned who would be there but it was just mentioned as some sort of celebration for Vince and not many details were given.

I walked into the living room and sat down across from her.

"Are you sure he won't be there?" I looked at her.

"I am sure your brother would have mentioned if he was going to be there. Plus what does it matter. If he's there you say hi and that's it. It's the past now, we agreed to not focus on anything in the past. No Evan, no Seth, no nothing of that nature" She said not looking up from her book.

"Well some mental preparedness would be nice" I sat there biting my lip

"I don't see what the big deal is, Hailey. If you have to know ask your brother. I am really not sure that knowing that he will be there will make it any easier. People break up all the time you move on and that is it" putting her book on her lap and looking at me

"You always make me feel so dumb" I rolled my eyes and sat back on the lounge chair. Going back to that day when I kicked him out of my house like it was nothing. I didn't remember every detail of that day but I would never be able to forget how he sat outside to make sure I was ok.

"When is this party? " I looked at her.

"Tonight" she looked at the time "We can start getting ready soon I guess"

My stomach dropped. I was hoping that I at least had some time to prepare for this. I started feeling the anxiety setting in.

"You will be fine" my mom knew me way too well

"yeah – I am going to go start getting ready. I hate it when you guys rush me" I said heading upstairs

I sat on my bed really hoping that my mom was right and that my brother would have said something regarding Seth being there. Just thinking about seeing him gave me anxiety. I got up and started getting ready for the night.


	23. Chapter 23

We headed to the event that night and I could feel my stomach in knots. Not even just because of the fact that I still wasn't sure if my mom had lied to me but because I hated seeing people for the first time after what happened. I always felt like such a charity case. I had made sure to look my best at least when I looked good people didn't ask me as many questions on how I was doing for some reason.

The car pulled up to the front and off the bat I see wrestlers. Typical. It was a huge production that was normal for the WWE.

"Gee. Thanks mom" I said sarcastically getting out of the car. Fixing my dress and my hair one last time.

"You will be fine there's a lot of people here" she said stepping out

We waited for my dad to finally climb out and we headed inside the fancy reception. I was looking around at the décor and made my way to our table with my parents.

We sat down and placed my boring Diet Coke order. I looked around nervously. I knew I would at some point see him so I was on edge.

"We should head over there and greet the McMahons" my mom said standing up

I looked over to the table she was referring to and saw my brother with his in-laws.

I stood up and headed over and smiled around the table when we approached.

My brother got up and gave me a hug "you look great. This is how it should always be. Amazing what a difference 90 day makes" he said smiling. I had forgotten that I also hadn't seen him since the day I went into rehab.

I smiled "thank you I should wear a gown more often" I laughed a little. It was also the first day I had seen him since

I greeted everyone at the table receiving the normal comments on how glad they were I was ok, and how good I looked. I had learned to just smile and nod. It was faster. I watched as my mom sat to chat with Linda and I looked around the place.

"So how are you feeling? You alright?" my brother came over to stand next to me

I smiled and nodded "yes I am fine. I am good. Mom's driving me crazy though"

He laughed "Yeah well …you kind of brought that upon himself."

I heard him but I wasn't listening. My attention was at the door where Seth had just walked in looking so good in an all black suit, with a girl by his side. I looked away before he could see me looking. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.

Paul looked to see who had stolen my attention.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked concerned

"Yes. I will be fine" I said smiling and rolling my eyes when I saw my mom walk up

"Hailey, I am sorry. We can leave if you want" she said. I knew she had seen what I saw.

"We aren't leaving. I will be fine" I said looking at her

"no, you guys are not leaving. I can ask him to leave" said savior big brother

I gave them both a look. I was getting extremely tired of how over protective they had become. Although I knew that it was my fault I wished that they would back off and let me try to rebuild my own life without my every move and every emotion being monitored.

"What is wrong with you guys? No one is leaving and you are not going to embarrass him. I need you guys to back off. I am fine. You need to let me deal with shit like this on my own and in my own way." I said angrily glaring at them

"Your own way has been very scary, time consuming and expensive" said Paul

I shook my head and walked back to our table and sat down by my self. At least being angry at the both of them took my mind off the painful sensation that had replaced my heart.

I watched Seth and his date from a distance making sure not to get caught. I was sad for me because I knew what I had lost but I could be happy for him that he had hopefully found someone worthy.

I was eating my meal in peace and away from my parents when my brother came over to the table. I looked at him knowing nothing good ever comes out of him coming to talk to me alone.

"Mom said you said no to the pay per view tomorrow" he said flatly tapping his fingers on the table in front of him

"Yes, you know me. I hate wrestling" I said taking a bite out of my salad

"ok I know but if you don't go then mom doesn't know and she wants to go. It might be my last match" he said looking at me

"Ok Paul, honestly you have been saying that for like 3 years and then I go and then you fight again. " I said pretending to be extremely interested in the salad I was eating.

"I am starting to think that you are incapable of thinking of other people's feeling and being selfish is the only thing you know" He said coldly

I could feel him just staring at me.

I knew he was right. My mom really wanted to go to this stupid thing and I also knew that if I didn't go she would stay home with me.

"Ok whatever I'll go. I didn't know that saying no immediately put me on the worst people in the world list." I said looking at him

I saw his gaze get lost behind me.

"Seth, hey" he said standing up and extending a hand.

My body went into panic mode. The diet coke in my hand was not strong enough. I took a deep breath and turned around to look behind me.

There he was. He could wear the fuck out of a suit. I stood up to not be awkward between them.

He shook my brothers hand and look at me and I smiled

"Hailey, you look great" he said smiling

I saw my brother walk away in the corner on my eye. That asshole, so much for being there for me.

"Hey you too. You clean up nicely" I smiled back

I looked over at the girl by his side and smiled

"oh Hailey this is Abby" he said putting his hand on the small of her back

I smiled the best smile I could give.

"Hi Abby, nice to meet you" I said extending a hand

She shook my hand and smiled

"Nice to meet you too. I love your dress"

"Oh thank you!" I said smiling unsure of what else to say.

I looked around a bit uncomfortable. This was not how I expected our meeting going. For one because I had hoped there was never another meeting. I wanted to pull him to the side to apologize but this probably wasn't the best place or time since he was there with a girlfriend.

"Well it was nice seeing you looking so great" he said "have fun"

"Oh thanks yeah you two enjoy as well" I smiled and watched them walk away.

I sat back down on the table and started stabbing my salad with my fork. I looked at the time to see if it was almost a respectable time to go. I was glad when my mom did finally decide it was time to go. I had spent the night feeling uncomfortable.

When we got home I went to bed and was unable to sleep. I kept seeing Seth with Abby in my head. I refused to let myself think of what they could possibly be doing at that point in time.

I knew I had ground for being upset. I was so mean to him he deserved to move on quickly. I thought about how my brother ripped me a new one about being selfish and I looking back I knew he was right. I never bothered to think of the people around me. I didn't think of Evan before I dumped him when he least expected it, I think didn't of my parents or my family when I first got addicted to drugs, I didn't think of Seth when I dumped him for helping me. I wiped the tears that had fallen from my eyes. I should just stay away from people. I seemed to be extremely good at hurting those that love me.


	24. Chapter 24

The next day was Sunday and my mom had been so excited to go see my brother live. He was her pride and joy, she always was so happy to see him do what he loved. To me this was probably the most selflessly thing I had done in a while. After a lot of thinking the night before I realized just how much my parents were sacrificing for me so I decided to put on a smile and let her enjoy.

We had gotten to the arena early and were walking around the back looking for my brother. Although I hated being back there again I was trying to not let my feelings and emotions be the main focus here.

I was looking around the very familiar scene. It was interesting walking around knowing what exactly everyone was supposed to be doing. I remembered the creepy guy that corned me and it made me cringe.

"There's your brother" my mom said walking over to him and giving him a hug

I walked over and smiled.

"Glad you guys made it" he said looking at me. "No Authority t-shirt for you, Hails?"

I looked at him and rolled my eyes laughing a little.

"No way. Me being here is all the support you're getting from me so you better win cause I didn't drive out here for a pity party" We both laughed

"Well I have to go, but I will see you guys later. Please make yourselves at home and let me know if you have any problems with your seats" he said walking away

My mom grabbed my arm and we walked. I realized that this might just be my life. That girl that never finds a guy so spends her whole life with her aging mother. I loved my mom but that mental picture was a depressing one.

We went to our seats in the arena before the start of the show. I was happy that my phone had a healthy battery charge. I spent most of the show playing on my phone. When the show was almost over I heard a familiar song and looked up when the crowd started booing to see Seth walking down to the ring.

I put my phone away and watched as he wrestled some other dude I was not really familiar with except for the few times I had crossed paths with him backstage in my short employment.

I was quite enjoying seeing Seth he just looked to be having a great time out there and he was actually really good. Part of me was holding my breath hoping he wouldn't get hut. I was happy when he won even though the entire crowd seemed to hate it.

I looked at my mom "is he a bad guy?"

"yes, everyone hates him because he betrayed his friends to join the authority" my mom explained

I also found it so funny how she always knew what was going on.

I laughed and watched as he celebrated and then my heart stopped when he made eye contact. I didn't know what to do so I looked away. In looking away I saw his girlfriend also in the crowd.

After my brother was done wrestling we headed back to the back. We walked over to where Stephanie was and I saw Seth getting ready to leave in the distance.

I bit my lip knowing they wouldn't be back in town for a while and this was probably the last time I was going to see him in a very long time.

"Mom, I'll be right back. There's something I have to do" I said walking away towards Seth

I walked up to him full of nerves and trying to figure out what I should say without sounding stupid. I could feel my hands getting sweaty as I was getting closer. In the short walk I almost chickened out 3 times.

"Hey! Good job out there" I said rolling my eyes at how dumb I had sounded. I had practice about 100 different types of ways to greet him on my walk over and that was the best I could come up with

He looked at me and smiled

"Hey, thanks. Surprised to see you out there" He said tying his shoe while sitting on a bench. In jeans but shirtless. I was sure a warning should be required for such a sight.

"Yeah, me too" I laughed a little "well actually I am glad I came because I really need to talk to you. Well not need but want to talk to you" I said nervously

He looked up and scooted over to make room for me in the bench he was sitting at. I was not planning on sitting next to him but I did. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. The scent of his cologne filled my nostrils it was intoxicating. If I was never before it was nothing compared to the mix of emotions I had now.

"I actually wanted to apologize to you for that day" I said biting my lip

He put his foot off the bench and looked at me "it's alright. You don't have to apologize" he said

"Just, let me. " I said looking down at my hands "I was so selfish and I just didn't think of how hard the situation was on you too and at the time I couldn't appreciate what you did for me, so I just want to say sorry for everything that happened that day and thank you for helping me" I said looking at him

He nodded and put his hand on my hand "I am just happy that you got the help you needed and that you are healthy. That is all the thank you I need"

I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. I was hoping that apologizing to him would help me feel better about what I had done but so far no real change. Maybe guilt was actually my most faithful companion.

He smiled back and stood up when his girlfriend walked over.

I stood up as well "well, thanks for listening. I should probably get back. We're supposed to have dinner with my brother. Bye..and bye Abby nice to see you again"

"bye" was all she said as I walked away feeling like an idiot about over talking during my goodbye.

The walk back felt like an eternity. My heart was heavy and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around me. I would give up all the luxuries all over again if I could go back in time and avoid everything that had happened.

I walked back to where my mom and Stephanie were sitting and they both looked at me. I knew they were both looking from a distance.

"Just needed to say my peace" I said taking a seat near them.

I watched as Seth walked out of the arena with Abby. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain I felt. I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I went over to talk to him but I knew that part of me was hoping that he would take my apology give me a passionate kiss and all would be good with the world. I tried not to linger thought on that passionate kiss part. I missed him so much.


	25. Chapter 25

We went home that night and I walked out back and sat out on one of the chairs the deck thinking of the past two nights. The night was cool and full of starts just how I liked it. I reclined back and looked up at the moon.

"I can talk to you. You don't judge. I might sound a bit crazy doing it, but sadly I don't have many other options. You look just as lonely up there as me, so you will totally understand how I feel. I miss him. I should be happy for him but I guess my brother is right; I am too selfish for that. If he's out there right now and you can see him can you just let him know that I love him..just so he knows " I wiped a tear when I heard foot steps behind me

"Who are you talking to?" my mom said walking out towards me

I looked up her realizing how

"To the moon." I said taking the throw blanket she was handing me "thanks"

"Alright...are you ok?" she asked

"I don't feel like talking mom" I said looking at her and smiling a little

"But you can talk to the moon?" she laughed a little "see tonight wasn't that bad you looked like you enjoyed a little of it"

I laughed "It wasn't the actual fighting I was enjoying; it was more of the leather pants look"

My mom laughed

"You miss him don't you?" she looked at me

I knew telling my mom I didn't want to talk translated to her like saying ask more and you will eventually get it out of me.

I just shrugged "it doesn't matter now"

"Is that who you were talking to the moon about?"

"That is between the moon and I" I closed my eyes pretending to fall asleep

"You know…your biggest problem has been keeping things inside. It eats up at you and until you can't control it anymore. You need to be able to tell people your problems" she said

I let out a sigh. I knew she was right.

"I'm fine mom. I'll be back inside in a few minutes" I said. It was a nice way of telling her to leave.

When she was gone I went back to my thoughts bringing the blanket up to my neck. I sat there for a few minutes and I heard footsteps again.

"Mom, I said I will be in soon" I said closing my eyes annoyed

"I will let her know that"

I sat up and looked back at him. "Seth, what...what are you doing here?"

"Well the talk at the arena got cut short and it just didn't feel like that should have been it" he said sitting in the chair my mom was sitting in before.

"Yes it did feel kind of rushed" I said staring at the trees ahead

He leaned back on the chair with his feet up "I waited for you"

I looked at him; he was already looking at me

"To move on; I waited to see what you were going to do after you got out of your treatment. You never reached out so I figured you really did mean it that night" he said

I took a deep breath and looked out to the trees again. He had just confirmed he had now moved on. That must be what getting stabbed in the heart felt like.

"I was so confused on what to do when I got out. I wanted to call you but I was embarrassed. Still am embarrassed" I bit my lip threatening myself that if I cried I would punch myself in the face.

"for what? What are you embarrassed about?"

"What I did; the drugs, what I did to you that day. I don't know its embarrassing" I looked at him again and now he was looking straight ahead

He shrugged "don't be embarrassed. You took a stumble in your walk and you needed help. How you acted that day was just a result of that. I knew you wouldn't have done that when everything was fine"

I was fighting back tears. The fact that he was always so understanding killed me.

"Yeah, guess I just have to learn to let go of things" I nodded and looked at him "but I am glad I got to apologize"

He looked at me and smiled "yes, apology obviously accepted since it wasn't necessary in the first place"

I laughed a little.

"I should probably get going. Your mom is probably tired from trying to look out the kitchen window" he said laughing

I put my face in my hands laughing "Is she really?! She is on my last nerve. "

He laughed and stood up. I stood up too putting the blanket back down on the chair. Feeling how cold the night was now I wrapped my arms around myself.

He looked at me and put his hands on my arms rubbing them for warmth. "Alright I should really get going. It was really get to see you and you look freaking amazing" he said kissing the top of my head and giving me a hug

I closed my eyes and hugged back. Never wanting to let go I tried to take in as much of his scent and his warmth before pulling away from the hug.

"It was really nice to see you too." I said biting my tongue on what I really wanted to say

I walked him to the front door seeing my mom pretend to be washing dishes.

I shook my head "I seriously think I am like a hobby to her now"

He laughed and looked at me when we reached the front door.

"Ok, well bye. I'll see you around" he said

I smiled. I knew there was a good chance this was the last time I saw him unless I sat down with my mom and watched wrestling with her.

"bye" I knew if I said more my voice would crack.

He leaned down and gave me a hug again walking out.

I watched him walk to his car and drive away. I closed the door behind me and headed to my room I laid in bed trying to be brave. Part of me was happy that I had a nice moment with him that wasn't full of awkwardness and that I knew he didn't hate me. The other part of me was hurting; out of all the times I had to watch him leave this was definitely the hardest of them.


	26. Chapter 26

A few months passed since that late night meeting with Seth. Not a day had gone by that I didn't regret telling him that I love him. My life had drastically changed since then; I landed a good job in Chicago and had moved away from my parents.

I was sitting in my office one afternoon hard at work. It was a beautiful snowy day outside and I hadn't even had a second to look out the window. I looked up at the time, realizing I was late to meet Nick.

I had been out with Nick a couple of times, it was certainly nothing serious for me and he was respectful of the slow pace I was trying to take things.

I got up and grabbed my purse walking onto the street. He had texted me earlier in the day changing our date from dinner to lunch. I was supposed to meet him outside his gym. I walked down the street enjoying the fresh air.

I walked to the gym and waited outside once I got there; guess I wasn't the only one who lost track of time. I was extremely cold so I was hoping he was going to hurry out.

"Hey I'm outside" I texted him but I knew that he never had his phone on him at the gym.

I looked through my work email on my phone while waiting trying to kill time. After a few minutes had passed with no reply text I decided to peek inside.

I walked into the Crossfit gym feeling extremely self conscious that I stood out like a sore thumb in my outfit. I noticed Nick talking to someone I started to walk towards him and then I got a good look at who he was talking to and right away my heart felt like giving out on me and I could feel my body start shaking. After months without seeing Seth unless I stumbled upon Raw on TV while he was on, there he was; shirtless. Just in case it wasn't hard enough to see him.

I stopped walking towards them and tried to quick think an escape plan, maybe they hadn't noticed me yet. I began to turn around to walk out and Nick noticed me from the corner of his eye.

"Hails! Shit I lost track of time." He said looking over at me

Seth looked at me with the same look on his face as I had on mine.

"Seth, this is Hailey. The girl I was telling you about" Nick said walking over and walking me towards Seth

I walked towards Seth, and my mind was racing. I had thought many times of when would be the next time that I saw him again and in none of those thoughts did I have a guy I was seeing bring me to him. I was unsure of how to proceed when I noticed Seth extending his hand out towards me.

I slowly reached out and awkwardly shook his hand, my hand almost burning when I touched his skin.

"Nice to meet you, Hailey" he said looking at me straight in the eye. I looked at him confused part of me felt hurt that he just denied knowing me. After all we had been through here we were acting like two complete strangers.

It felt extremely weird acting like I didn't know him when it almost physically hurt how much I was longing for a touch from him.

"You too" I foced a smile not breaking the eye contact

"Ok, well let me go change real quick and grab my bag and I will be right now" Nick said heading towards the locker room.

Both Seth and I watched him walk away. Once Nick had disappeared into the locker room Seth turned to me.

"nice to meet me?" I looked at him. I wasn't sure how to take what had just happened.

"I know; I am sorry. He had seriously just finished me telling me how much he liked this girl and then it turned out to be you and I freaked out. It would have been so weird that he just said all that to your ex" he said

I nodded at his response. It made sense but it still bothered me that I was so excited and flustered to see him and he didn't seem really fazed by it.

"It's actually a really nice surprise to see you. Your brother had told me you had moved because of a job but he never told me where you moved to" Seth said keeping intense eye contact

"It's great to see you too. I work not far from here. Been living in Chicago for a few months " I nodded a bit trying not to stare at his body so instead I tried to focus on a drawing on the wall.

"Well there you go. You proved your parents wrong "

I laughed a little "yeah, guess you can say that" I remembered how I never told him that our relationship lasting was the thing I was supposed to prove my parents wrong on and I hadn't been able to do that.

"I am very happy for you" he said putting his hand on my arm.

"Thank you" I said smiling his touch sending tingles down my spine.

Nick walked out of the locker room carrying his gym bag. We both turned to look at him. I wished he had taken longer to come out.

"Alright, It was nice seeing you " Nick said to Seth giving him a manly goodbye hand shake

"Take care" Seth said towards Nick and looked at me "Bye, Hailey" he said with a crooked smile.

I tried to hide the pain I felt that once again I was saying goodbye to him and I didn't even get a hug this time.

"bye, Seth" I smiled and started walking out with Nick.

We walked out into the street and started walking towards the restaurant. My heart felt so empty now, the last thing I wanted to do was continue on this date. I walked with Nick not really paying attention to a thing we was saying, my mind focused on the fact that I was walking away from Seth- again.


	27. Chapter 27

I was lost in thought; I knew that if I walked away again without really telling him how I felt I would regret it forever. I was wasting time with this fear of rejection, time that could be spent being with him instead of just longing for him. I realized that I hadn't heard a word that Nick had been saying.

I stopped mid walk and I looked back at the Crossfit gym we had been slowly leaving behind. I bit my lip and looked at Nick. He had also stopped walking and was looking at me.

"Are you ok?" He asked with a puzzled look on his face

"No. Well I…there's something I have to do…I am sorry Nick, truth is that I am so in love with this guy and I never got over it and if I don't go back right now, I will regret it" I knew he had no idea what I was talking about.

"I am sorry…I should go" I said and began walking back towards the Crossfit gym

I powered walked back to the Crossfit gym and every ounce of courage that I had built on that half a block walk had vanished. I didn't even bother asking him if he still had a girlfriend. I opened the door and walked in before I could chicken out.

I was relieved to see he was still there lifting weights. I walked over to him slowly taking a deep breath.

He looked up and saw me dropping the weight and taking off his head phones. He gave me a sweet smile.

"Seth, I …I…" the nerves were getting the best of me " I can't just walk away again after just a short conversation that really gets us nowhere. " I said looking at him

"Truth is that out of all the stupid shit I have done in my life my biggest regret will forever be kicking out that day. I now have the life that I thought would make me happy with the independence, and a good job but I now know that my life will still suck if you aren't in it. I love you" I said looking at him, my heart feeling like it was about to pop out of my chest. My eyes watering from the nerves

Seth stepped over the weight he had dropped on the floor and walked towards me looking at me in the eyes. He smiled and brought his hands to my cheeks and lifted my head up leaning down to kiss me.

I closed my eyes and kissed back. His lips on mine felt better than I remembered.

He smiled against my lips "I love you too, so much"

I laughed a little, all of a sudden feeling self conscious that we were in the middle of a crowded gym. I pulled away and smiled.

"I just realized there's a bunch of dudes watching." I said looking at him

He laughed "I can walk out of here proudly. Let's get out of here. You already ruined my WOD time anyway"

I laughed and watched him gather his stuff and pull on a shirt. We started walking out and he reached down and grabbed my hand intertwining his fingers with mine.

We walked out to the street together "what did you do with Nick?" he said looking at me remembering I had left with a guy 5 minutes earlier

"I kind of just left him in the middle of the sidewalk. I tried to explain. I don't think I made much sense though. He'll be fine"

"Yes he did say that he didn't think "the girl" was very into him"

I nodded "yeah that was true"

"So I probably should have asked this before the kiss but are you still with Abby?" I looked at him

He laughed at the first part of my comment. "No, one look at you at that party they had for Vince and I knew I was lying to myself. So the following night when I dropped her off at the airport was the last time I saw her" he said giving my hand a squeeze

I looked at him "Do you understand that I have been tortured for months thinking that you were still with this girl and it might be getting serious" I said laughing

"Serves you right for being so freaking stubborn. I was seriously beginning to think that you were just going to let it end over nothing" he said smiling and leaning down to kiss the top of my head

I laughed and wrapped my arm around his waist while walking. I remembered that I was on my lunch hour.

"Oh crap. I have to get back to the office." I pouted looking at the time

"What time are you done with work?" he looked at me

"I will leave as soon as possible. I just have 1 conference call I have to be in and then I will leave"

He smiled " I waited months. I guess I can wait a few more hours"

"Wait for what? We just got back together a whole 10 minutes ago and you're already thinking about sex?" I laughed a little

He laughed "Hey listen. I didn't say anything; you are the one whose mind went there. All I will say is I love the way you think"

I laughed and stopped walking once we reached my office building

"Ugh I don't want to go back. " I said frowning

He smiled and kissed me "yes there are many other things I rather be doing with you than dropping you off at work. I will be here when you get out, well not HERE because that would be weird" he laughed

I laughed "Ok I will text you when I know what time I will be getting out and we can decide where to meet" I grabbed my phone out of my purse and looking at the time "ok gotta go" I kissed him again and walked into the office building and smiled to myself.

I loved how natural it at felt when I was with him. We hadn't seen each other in months but we could still pick up where we left off. My only regret was not talking to him sooner but no point in thinking about that now. He was back and that was all that mattered.


	28. Chapter 28

It was hard to concentrate at work. I had been tmye for the longest hour of my life and I knew I still needed to be tmye for anotmy hour for my conference call. I was trying to get some work done that might be able to take my mind off the time and make it go by faster.

I looked up when my assistant walked in with a flower arrangement. I smiled.

"Thank you, Sarah" I said to my assistant walking over to the arrangement and taking the card

"To the love my life: Waiting is harder than I thought. Love, Seth"

I laughed at the card and looked at the time again. "Sarah, Can you just tell them that something came up and I am going to need to reschedule the call?" I looked at my

I smiled at me "sure. Will you be leaving for the day?"

"Yes. For sure not coming back today. " I said grabbing my purse and walking out. He had texted me earlier in the day the hotel they were staying at. I headed over tmye.

I texted him "I am on my way over!"

"yes!" read the quick reply I got

I laughed a little and looked around while walking enjoying the cold weatmy. I got to the hotel and walked inside heading towards the elevator.

"Hailey?!" I heard my brotmy call.

I let out a sigh and turned around to see him. Worst timing ever. I smiled "hey you"

He walked over and gave me a hug "what are you doing mye? I texted you a couple of days ago asking you to have lunch or dinner and you never got back to me" he said raising an eyebrow

"I seriously thought it was next week you guys were in town" I said truthfully.

"oh then what are you doing mye?" my brotmy asked suspiciously

"Long story short…mye to see Seth" I said

"Should have known. Ok, well….make time for dinner after the show tonight" he said walking away

I pouted at the news that they had a show today. I completely forgot it was Monday. I headed to Seth's room and knocked once I got tmye.

He opened with a smile and looked at me up and down "You should wear those pencil skirts to bed"

I laughed and walked in "Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful" I said kissing him

He kissed back sweetly "nothing compared to you I am sure. How was work?" he said sitting on a chair

I walked over and sat on his lap wrapping my arms around his neck "torture. I wanted to be mye instead"

He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in to kiss my neck his hands starting to wonder.

"DO NOT. I have dinner with my brotmy and no one wants to have dinner with their brotmy dirty from sex." I laughed already feSethng the effects of his touch.

"Dinner with your brotmy?! Is the universe set on making me wait?" he laughed

I laughed and kissed him. "Seems like it" I stood up fixing my skirt again.

I looked at him and smiled.

"What?" he asked smiling a bit

"Nothing, just happy you're mye"

Seth pulled me back onto his lap and kissed me. I kissed back and pulled away slowly bringing my lips to his neck and kissing it all over. He tilted his head and I nibbled on his ear. I could feel the bulge in his pants getting harder against my thigh.

Seth stood up holding onto my waist "I cannot possibly wait until after dinner. I might explode"

He grabbed my hand and let me to the bathroom. I watched him turn on the shower. When the temperature was just right he turned around attacking my mouth with his and immediately working on removing my clothes.

I kissed back and started removing his as well. Once we were both naked we stepped inside.

He kissed me again passionately and I opened my mouth to arrow his tongue access.

I ran my fingers down his chest, to his length and slowly began stroking it as I kissed his neck again.

He let out a small moan and I moved my hands a bit faster.

"Hails…"He moaned in my ear.

"Hmmm?""Please, your mouth." He begged not able to get his words out.

I loved seeing him so turned on. I smiled and kissed down his chest and took him in my mouth.

"Ahh…fuck." He muttered. My cheeks were hallow as I bobbed my head, sucking him off. I grazed my tongue along his own length and he instantly came in my mouth and I swallowed it.

I opened my mouth wide and let the water from the shower head flow through my mouth and I swallowed it.

Seth picked me up, my legs around his waist and looked up at me

"Thank you."

"It's no problem." I smiled as he began to rub his length against my center.

"Seth…." I softly moaned. He kept rubbing against me as I threw my head back

"Please."

He smirked and slowly pushed into me. I moaned a little, I guided him and moved up and down against the tiled wall on his length. We looked each other in the eyes, not breaking eye contact as I slowly moved on him.

"Does it feel good?" He seductively whispered in my ear and I whimpered in response.

We continued to look in each other's eyes filled with love and lust and I picked up the pace a smidge.

I loved when we made love like this, slow and not breaking eye contact. Even if it wasn't rough, it was intense and we both felt it.

I picked up the pace a bit more and began to moan more frequently and bite my lip still looking down at Seth.

He smirked up at me and gave me passionate kiss.

"Pick it up a bit." He whispered in my ear.

I moved faster on top of him, the thrusts becoming too pleasurable not to moan loudly.

"Uh…Seth." I threw my head back. He began to work with my and thrust himself in deeper as I let out a throaty moan.

He started moving at an erratic place suddenly needing to release.

I still had my head back, moans still falling from my pink lips.

"Seth, please. I'm gonna let go."

"Go ahead." He said thrusting at my g-spot.

"Fuck." I kept muttering to myself. I arched my back off the wall and moaned loudly letting go as Seth did as well.

I slowly thrust him out of me and we both heavily breathed.

I looked at him and weakly smiled and moved to his lips and whispered against them, "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed my lips.

I smiled against his lips. "this was a good idea you had"

"Where there's a will there's a way" he laughed

I took the soap and we both began to lather up. After the shower we got dressed again. Seth went out and sat on the bed watching TV while I finished getting ready. After I was gone I went over and sat next to him.

I cuddled up against him and felt his strong arms wrap around me. I laid there against him.

"I love you Hails" He said the outer part of my thigh with his hand.

"I love you too" I looked up at him and smiled. I placed a soft kiss on his chin.

I laid my head against his chest knowing there was no place I rather be.


End file.
